HOW TO PLAY THE GAME

"Hope you guys like roasted rabbit and wild salad," said Suzene, wrinkling her nose in distaste. She didn't really dislike the menu...but she didn't trust the preparation. Cooking anything with this group was like an extended version of the Marx Brothers. Or maybe the Three Stooges.

"Oh, come on! It can't be that bad!" laughed Laura, slipping the poor, mangled dinner off its spit and into a make-shift tray of heavy leaves.

"Those poor, innocent bunnies!" cried Mummraa melodramatically when she arrived at the designated eating place. "Sacrificed in the prime of their lives to feed our hunger as we tear into them, juice running down our chins, completely oblivious to their pain. Gimme a leg," she grinned.

"I'll have the salad," said Demonprist.

"I think I lost my appetite for meat too," said Felina dully.

"It's not that...I just don't *want* any rabbit," replied Demonprist with a shrug.

"You sound surprised."

"I dunno...I mean it *smelled* good," shrugged Demonprist, turning to look at Cheezey. "I just...don't want any."

"Well, I'll take some. I'm starving!" cried Sonarion. "An' I don't carea bout any bunny's prime," he finished, sticking his tongue out at Mummraa.

"Maybe I'll change *you* into a bunny...then you'll be sorry," sniffed the mummy-girl before biting enthusiastically into a piece of leg. "I feel luckier already!" she declared.

"Do it," said Kith with genuine interest. Sonarion shot him a dirty look. "Well, it would be fun to see...what can I say?" the elf shrugged. "But it can wait until after dinner...I'm hungry too. How long have we been here anyway?"

"I've been here for hours...that much I know," said Cheezey. "The thing is...I don't know if I've been here hours in real time, hours in game time,or if both are the same."

"Maybe Bast will tell us," said Demonpriest suddenly.

"Yeah, but how do we find her?" asked Suzie. "Unless that's the point of the game."

Demonprist shrugged. "Maybe we won't have to. She's not very far away."

"I don't mean to sound rude or distrustful, but how would *you* know?" asked Laura skeptically.

"She's right though...now that you mention it. I can feel her around," said Mummraa.

"Well, *I* can't," said Laura. "Neither can I," agreed Suzene.

There was a general poll. It seemed that only Demonprist and Mummraa had the vaguest notion of Lady Bast's whereabouts.

"I wonder why only the both of you would have these feelings and not the rest of us," mused Cheezey. "It can't be because of how well you know her because I've known her about as long."

"And I've known her longer," added Sonarion around a mouthful of meat.

"Character perception is pantheonic."

Sonarion choked on his mouthful and turned to look behind him. He hadn't heard anyone approach...and that should have been out of the question. The others too bore stunned expressions, pausing in mid-bite to look at the new arrival.

She wasn't tall. She wasn't larger than life. She was, if anything, rather soft-looking. Only slightly more than five feet tall, she was sleek, if not particularly slim. Her body was lightly furred, wrapped in a green *kalsiris* and sandals with a golden collar. Strangest was her face which was the head of a cat, with large green eyes and whiskers framed with soft waves of light brown hair. Her ears too were a cat's, seemingly large, and pierced with hoops of gold. Still, despite the warmth of her appearance, she radiated an underlying rigidity and strength.

"Characters with a mystic touch...particularly those of the same pantheon such as Demonprist, Mummraa and myself...can dimly sense each other regardless of where they are in the game," the cat woman attempted to clarify. "We could, if we chose, track down the true Mumm-ra, or even Mumm-rana."

"Right. Got it. Cute trick. Where the hell did you come from?" asked Suzene.

"Dematerialized travel is the trick of an Avatar," said Bast, her lips curling slightly. Most of her amusement was seen in her eyes as they narrowed in humor. "It is, however, an advanced trick. I have the advantage of being directly linked to the game system and require less levels of experience."

"So I won't be able to do it?" sulked Demonprist.

"Not for a while, although I dare say you'll find more...interesting...methods of travel."

"You sound like a reference book," smirked the red-haired Avatar.

"The cadence of high speech makes the sharing of information easier. It allows me to keep the details in order and present them in an understandable manner."

"Well stop it, it's annoying," scowled Sonarion. "I can't understand big words when I'm trying to eat." "Well, you know how it is...business is business," smiled the cat-woman. "Now if I had a reason to discard with business matters..."

"What kind of reason?" asked Sonarion suspiciously.

"Ask her to sit down and join us, dipshit," smirked Suzene.

"Who you callin' 'dipshit'?" snapped Sonarion, clenching his fists.

"She's yanking your chain...relax," interrupted Cheezey. "So? You hungry?" she asked the cat woman, holding out a broad leaf which cradled a portion of both rabbit and mixed greens.

"Thank you," smiled the Avatar, taking her place in the circle. She tucked her legs beneath her and her dress beneath them before accepting the offering. Looking it over, she pushed aside the vegetables and chose apiece of rabbit first. "Sorry, I'm...rather carnivorous," she appologized before taking a delicate mouthful.

"So," asked Cheezey. "Are you a player too?"

"Yes and no," replied the Avatar. "I can choose sides and affect the game, but I'm not really a player...I'm more of an umpire I guess. I'm actually here to explain the finer points to you...give you a few warnings. I have other groups to attend to as well."

"You mean there are others?" asked Laura, perking up.

"Of course."

"Have you seen Ian?"

"Your group is the first I've encountered," said Bast, "but I know from the entries that Ian is here...although only because he used his own name. There are many, many others wandering around. They're mostly grouped into little camps right now which is why I'm taking this opportunity to do the rounds."

"Okay, okay," said Cheezey, sucking her fingers. "The first thing I want to know is: how does time pass here? I mean, we're eating right? We were hungry. So does the same amount of time pass outside as well? If so how are our bodies eating?"

Bast laughed, a liquid golden sound which was presumably due to her Avatarstatus. "Game time is *hugely* accelerated," she explained. "You feel like you're opperating in real time and your character bodies will act as such, needing food and sleep, but the truth is that only a few minutes have passed 'outside'...if that. You can actually ask the computer for a date and time check on the outside world and the information will be implanted directly into your character. The problem is that you have to ask out loud for the voice response...which can get kind of embarrassing." Bast shrugged to indicate that some things couldn't be helped. "Give it a try now if you want."

The various characters spoke their requests aloud and the computers whirred, sending the information to their respective users. "Wow," said Cheezey, stunned. "According to the time displayed when I left, I haven't even been here for five minutes yet. That's...that's weird."

"Game log says that you were the first one connected so that means that no one else, except me, has been here for more than five minutes," said the feline Avatar cheerfully.

"We couldn't have *all* logged on that close together," protested Suzene.

"Why not?" asked Felina. "We *did* send out a meeting time of sorts via the list and I, for one, could hardly wait to give it a try. No doubt we were all anxious to join."

"But shouldn't there have been a line-up in the antechamber in that case? Or something similar?" wondered Kith aloud.

"Oh please...we each have our own computers, Kith. We weren't set to interact until we were spit out into the Third Earth portion of the game, remember?" said Demonprist, excited by her sudden understanding. "It's probably why we were all spit out in different areas; it keeps the lines from getting crossed!"

"That makes perfect sense, now that I think about it," said Suzene, satisfied by the explanation.

"Well, what if we have to leave the game?" asked Cheezey, still following her train of thought.

"Actually, you can access an information panel by simply saying: 'Computer, show stats,'" explained Lady Bast. "Your computer will access a table which will be displayed as a floating panel. This has all your character stats and equipment listed on it. It tracks your experience and power levels so you can see how much playing you have to do to increase your skills and magic. The panel also has controls to adjust the overall sound and colour levels - although only minute adjustments can be made - and the quit command is there as well."

"Well, what about saving?" interrupted Sonarion. Past computer troubles while typing up fanfiction had made him very aware of the necessity of the function.

"Oh, the game saves automatically!" laughed Bast. "It's constantly recording everything your character does. For this reason you have to be very careful...you can't revert to an earlier moment in the game to change your character."

"Well, what if we die?" asked Kith. "I mean...I'm long-lived, but there are fights and accidents to worry about too."

"Don't," said Bast, deadpan. The comment was met with stunned silence. "I mean it," continued the Avatar. Don't die. Unless you have someone with resurrection magic around to help, a dead character is just that...dead. And a new character with the same name and statistics can't be made either. Once dead, a character has to spend as much time in computer limbo 'draining' experience as it took to accumulate the experience in the first place. Only then can that character type be used again."

"That doesn't sound fair," said Laura quietly. "We're inexperienced players."

"Well, cousin Jerry doesn't want people taking stupid chances under the impression that it's 'just a game'...and a character can be killed if hacking is detected just as easily as it would under enemy attack," explained Bast. "Don't worry...the game has safeguards: viral protection, character analysis, and the like. A low-level character won't be given no-win situations to face. On the other hand, attacks become more dangerous the more powerful you become."

"Wow...glad I'm already dead," grinned Mummraa. "Being undead is an option too," smiled Bast, "although even if you are made an undead, you can be obliterated. If your body is entirely destroyed, there's no coming back. If you simply need repairs and regeneration, you're limbo until you're back *up* from level one.

"There's also a map," continued Bast before anyone could speak. "It doesn't show structures, but it will give you the lay of the land. All you have to do is say: 'Computer, display map.' Mind you, neither the map nor the statsboard will show up if there are any sentient game sprites around. Most people don't react well to hovering windows." A tail had appeared, peeking out from beneath her skirt and curling around her feet. Bast's face was asserene as any cat's, but the tip of her tail twitched with amusement.

"Hey!" cried Demonprist, noticing the new appendage. "I'm supposed to be able to do that!"

Lady Bast jumped in surprise. "Do what?"

"Change shape! I've been trying! How the hell do you do that?" persisted the other, eyes flashing.

Bast regarded her tail with disinterest. "Oh...that. Well it's much easier if you don't try too hard. Don't think about it, just do it...you know?"

"Oh sure...easy for *you* to say. You already *have* a tail," sulked Demonprist into her salad.

Bast regarded her serenely. Sitting near to Laura, it was little effort for her to slip her hand over, snatch up the woman's energy pistol, and fire a rapid shot at Demonprist's head.

The red-haired woman gave an soul-searing shriek which faded to a sharp hiss. She did not precisely move out of the way, but rather her body contorted to fit *around* the spot where it had been, allowing the energy shot to fly right past her.

"What are you trying to do...kill me?" she hissed. Naga-like, her lower body dissolved into a serpent's scales and even her face was lengthened and lizard-like.

"No...but I could if I wanted to, so sit down," said Bast sharply.

"A threat?" breathed the other Avatar, coiling her tail beneath her.

"I kill snakes for an immortal living, so relax," repeated Bast, narrowing her eyes. "I was just proving a point. When you stop thinking and just react, you can change your shape just fine."

Demonprist exhaled in a hiss. "Fine. Point taken. Drop the pissssstol." "Change back," challenged Bast. "Trust me," she continued when the other hesitated, "you're more dangerous to me in humanoid form. I just don't want you panicking if you can't do it right away." Demonprist scowled, coiling and uncoiling. Then, as though she had finally reached a decision, her tail became legs and her scales faded, her face regaining a more human shape. "Was all that really necessary?" she asked coldly.

"It worked, didn't it?" replied the cat, slyly, dropping the pistol by Laura's side.

The Avatars' eyes locked, but neither serpent nor cat has ever lost a staring match and finally Demonprist had to grin and agree. "Worked...but try it again and I'll be forced to kill you," she laughed.

"I don't think so," said Bast, her good-natured reply hiding an edge. "I'm one of the main game components...you wouldn't like me when I'm dead."

"This conversation is just a little too surreal," said Cheezey suddenly, shattering the tension of the moment. "I knew there was a disadvantage to living in a game."

"Yes! A game!" said Bast, clapping her hands together as though catching ananchoring her thoughts. "A game whose rules I have to share with everyone else!" She explained to the group the direction they would have to take to reach the main structures of Third Earth such as the Cat's Lair or Skytomb and prepared to take her leave.

"Wait!" cried Laura. "What's the point of this game?"

"To choose a side...and win," grinned Bast. "What else?"

Then she vanished in a shimmering of displaced air.

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