"Welcome to the antechamber of VR2L Third Earth," said the cat-headed image on the monitor. "I am your hostess, Lady Bast. Please state your name and step up to the screen to choose your character format."

"My name is Jon."

"You require a character to enter the world of VR2L Third Earth, Jon," said Bast. "What race will you be?"

"I want to be a mixed breed. Ice Lunatak and cheetah Thunderian, to be exact."

"I see...an unusual request. Please describe this character, is it male or female?"

"Male...and he stands at about six feet in height," said Jon as the monitor adjusted his character preview, mixing Lunatak and Thunderian traits until the player was satisfied. "Right...now with blue eyes. Keep the hair white, but add some black spots. A little broader in the shoulders...and sharpen the teeth a little. Great!"

"Would you like your character to have some clothes, Jon?" asked the voice of Bast slyly. "Or shall we do away with such nonsense?"

Jon looked at the black sensor suit that his character was still wearing. "Well, I'm all for it, but there might be minors playing. Better give him white boots, blue pants, a white fur vest, and white gloves. Oh, and an icepick."

"An icepick would be considered either a weapon or an additional item of equipment," said Bast. "I will file the data away for later. Character designated 'Jon' is saved," said Bast when her player accepted the final design. "Basic equipment includes food, water, and basic bedroll. You may now choose one weapon and one additional item of equipment. Others may be gathered in time. Will your icepick be considered a weapon or an item?"

"It's a weapon," said Jon. Then he paused to think. "I don't suppose I could bring a tank of Pepsi in there, could I? I have a funny feeling it isn't common on Third Earth."

"I'm afraid name brands aren't listed in the equipment," said the voice of Bast with amusement. "But we have an item called a 'horn of plenty'."

"A what?"

"A horn of plenty. It will provide you with precisely four litres of a liquid or the equivalent masse of a single food once per day. If the ration goes completely unused, then half...but only half...of that amount will be carried over to the next day."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't give me Pepsi," snorted Jon.

"This is a computer game, Jon. Imagine the taste and texture of what you want to come out of it, and that's what it will be. The sensors will read your reactions to the taste and produce the same whenever the horn is used. But choose carefully...the horn will only produce that one item."

"Weird. I'm almost scared to try it," said Jon, arching an eyebrow. "But too weird to pass up. How do I charge this thing?"

"Hold on one moment." There was a pause as the computer hummed and then a button appeared on a panel below the monitor. "First, the category. Liquid, I presume?" said Bast as a glass appeared on the screen.

"Yeah."

"And it's a cola," the relative colour and texture of your average cola filled the glass.

"Looks alright."

"Now think of how you want it to taste. When you have the exact taste you want...push the button. But remember...it will always taste as you imagine so you have to get it right!"

"Will there be a delay while the sensors pick up my thoughts?" asked Jon. "How long do I have to think of the same taste?"

"Oh, the sensors will work continually," laughed Bast. "The button tells them when to stop!"

"Why can't you do this? You like Pepsi."

"Jon, I'm just a computer. I have no sense of taste. The game function designated 'Lady Bast' is already in the game."

"Oh," said the player. Then he thought hard about what it would be like to have a can of soda with him right now. Popping it open and having a drink...

His hand hovered over the button.

No...not the first sip. It takes three sips to appreciate a drink.

He wondered where he'd heard that.

Finally...at just the right moment...he pushed the button.

"This had better work," he growled. "I don't want to have wasted my equipment item for nothing."

"Sometimes even spoiled items can be valuable," said the voice of Bast. "Please balance your skills and your attributes."

Jon adjusted his strength, speed - although it was already quite high due to his cheetah heritage, he wanted just a little extra edge - and constitution. The skills gave him a little more difficulty. He finally decided on a combat skill to enhance his weapon proficiency, a general mechanic's skill, and a literacy skill.

"Attributes designated to character 'Jon' are saved," said Bast. "Thank you for joining the VR2L test group already in progress. I hope you enjoy your stay on Third Earth."

"I don't suppose you'd tell me how many others are already in there?" he asked the disembodied voice of the chamber as he waited for the wall to slide upwards.

"Many," Bast seemed to grin.

"Have it your way," shrugged Jon. He sheilded his eyes and plunged into the white light beyond.

*********************

"EEP! Fish in the shirt! Fish...in...the...SHIRT!" yelped Telly, trying to reach down her leather halter. "Damn, it's a small one!"

"I'd help you, girl, but I wouldn't want to violate your personal space," said Suzene supressing a laugh at the way the Warrior Maiden hopped and wriggled.

"It's that stupid rope! I knew an arrow wouldn't be strong enouh!" gasped Telly as she yanked the little thumb-sized fish out of her cleavage and tossed it toward the river where Lepraa has just emerged from her swim. One snap of the leopard's jaws and the fish was gone.

"Hey!" protested Mummraa. "I wanted that!"

"It wasn't the arrow," said Artemis huffily, walking over to the tree she had buried it in and pulling it out with a gentle tug. "That was what let us pull ourselves over to the bank in the first place. Either it was your knot that came undone or..."

"Rope snapped," said Suzene, ending the dispute. She held up the frayed end of their line. "Just be thankful it held well enough for us to get to the island otherwise we wouldn't have had the guts to get ourselves across to the other side!"

"Well now that we're here, let's see where we're headed," said Artemis, calling up her computer map. "Okay, the Treetop Kingdom is sort of North-East of here and the Tower of Omens is as well...maybe a little more East. But it looks like there's some pretty rough country between here and there...you might be better off travelling with us and cutting through the Warrior Maidens' wood...maybe stopping in to stock up on supplies or catch a night's rest...before heading for the Tower. There's a river you can follow almost to the base of it on the other side."

"Sounds good to me," said Suzene. "I wonder if it's the same river we camped by the first night? Walking here, Mummraa and I saw it branch out, but we had to follow this side of it.

"Looks like it could be," said Telly, easing in beside Artemis to see the screen. "It looks like it joins up with this river at some point. Hey...do I smell chocolate?"

"'S'not me," said Mummraa, picking something out of her teeth. Lepraa sniffed the bag in the mummy's hand and licked her lips.

"We know you have Peanut Butter Cups...you could at least give ME one," grinned Suzene.

"But if I give one to you I have to give one to everybody else!" sniffed Mummraa.

"There're only four of us and you have a whole bag...fork 'em over."

"Nooooo! The Elves will get me!" wailed Mummraa melodramatically.

"You're in your own little world, aren't you?" said Artemis.

"Does it show?" preened Mummraa happily.

"Hey, you're supposed to be some kind of mage...can't you make your bag a 'bottomless' bag of peanut butter cups?" suggested Telly.

"Hey! Now dat's not a bad idea!" exclained Mummraa, plunking herself down on the ground and tracing mystical patterns in the dirt.

"Well, I didn't mean you had to do it *now*," sighed Telly. "We're trying to get to the Treetop Kingdom!"

"No! No! This will just take a minute!" insisted Mummraa. "Just as soon as I can think up a spell!" She continued to make her mystical wards.

Artemis rolled her eyes at Suzene who shrugged. "Hey," she said, "if you want the magic, you have to live with the magician..."

"You know...they don't *really* taste like *real* peanut butter cups," sniffed Mummraa as she reverently placed her bag in the middle of her mystic circle. "But just about the same."

"I guess they couldn't get the Reese people to sponsor the game," said Telly.

"After all that ET did for them, how could they turn their back on Sci-fi?" gasped Suzene with feigned indignation.

"Shhh!" hissed Mummraa, waving them quiet. "Watch dis!"

She started to chant and the circle and wards began to glow. With complex hand gestures, she instructed the magical light to spread inward, covering the protected ground and eventually enveloping the bag of peanut butter cups.

"Ewwww," whispered Telly. "They're radioactive!"

Mummraa chanted a few more lines and dismissed the spell with a sudden wave of one hand. The magical glow disappered quite suddenly, as though someone were switching off a lamp. "Wow..." she said, "that was really tiring!"

"Well you're not a full-strength mage yet," rationalized Suzene. "See if your spell worked!"

Mummraa climbed to her feet and dusted herself off before bending over to pick up the sack of candy. "Bottoms up!" she cried as she grabbed the bottom corners and dumped it upside down.

"Hey! Don't let them all fall on the ground! What if it didn't work!?!" cried Telly as the stream of chocolate treats began.

"Dirt is good for you," grinned Mummraa.

But there had been no need to worry. When the bag did not empty out after several seconds upside down, Mummraa choked off the flow of candy and righted the sack which was still as full as when she'd tipped it over. At her feet was a virtual mound of chocolate. Lepraa sniffed at it and licked her muzzle appreciatively.

"No you don't!" admonished Artemis. "Lepraa, if you eat that chocolate, you'll be sick! Hmm...I wonder if processed candy is harmful to leopards," sighed the Avatar as Lepraa slurped up one of the chocolate treats anyway. She could understand Artemis perfectly...that didn't mean she had to agree.

"Well, it's virtual candy and that's a virtual leopard so I doubt there could be any lasting harm," said Suzene.

"I guess it doesn't matter...she doesn't seem to like them anyway," grinned the Avatar as her animal companion scrunched up her nose and licked at the corners of her mouth to rid herself of the chocolate flavour.

"Yar! Frogs is better!" declared Mummraa.

"Well, I prefer chocolate to frogs," said Telly, grabbing a disk off the top of the stack where neither dirt nor leopard noses had touched it. She popped it in her mouth. "You're right...it's not quite the same as the ones from the store, but they're still pretty good."

"Don't eat da ones off da ground!" laughed Mummraa, shaking her bag. "I have them here!"

"I thought you said dirt was our friend?" snorted Telly.

"Yar! But leavin'em theere makes a good Elf-guard," insisted Mummraa, cramming a fresh peanut butter cup in her mouth. "Can't be too careful wit' Elves," she mumbled through the pasty mixture.

"You must be evil...you shouldn't talk with your mouth full," joked Suzene, snatching a peanut butter cup from the open bad. Mummraa made a muffled sound of indignation.

"This is all fine and dandy," said Atemis, also snatching a treat, "but we should get moving. I would actually feel safer if we were under forest cover for the night...and it looks as though the end of another gaming day is upon."

"Wow...how long has it been really?" mused Telly as the group started walking toward the woods. "Computer...what is the time?" She listened intently for a moment and then informed the others. "According to my computer, I've only actually been playing the game for about an hour! How about that!"

"Amazing...only an hour and yet I feel like I really *have* been here for almost two days," said Suzene, stretching as she walked. "If this game works out okay, imagine what you could do with it! You'd never have to book time off to go on a vacation again! You could do it all in a single weekend!"

"Except for eating and sleeping," said Telly. "You'd have to stop for that!"

"And going to da bathroom!" declared Mummraa.

"Geez! You're right! Er...how WOULD we know if we had to go to the bathroom?" asked Telly.

"Well, it's been two days and I haven't had to go yet...so I imagine that if you ever felt the need, it would probably be real," grinned Suzene.

"But what about eating then? I feel hungry here too...characters have to keep their energy up as much as humans!"

"I guess if you're hungry and your character eats, but you *still* feel hungry then that would mean you're *really* hungry," said Suzene.

"ACK! Dis is givin' me a headache!" complained Mummraa. "Let's just go beat up da Warrior Maidens."

"Excuse me, but we are *not* going to beat up my fellow warriors," sniffed Telly. "We're just going to ask them for help."

"Dat's what I said!" whined Mummraa. "And if they don't help, *den* we beat them up!"

"Don't even try to reason with her, it's impossible," grinned Suzene.

"I practise my unreasonability a lot," said Mummraa proudly.

"Boy, you *are* evil," said Artemis as the four of them headed toward the distant treeline.

*********************