Thunderwolf : A Riff Request

>>A certain dog type thing has been asking for one for a long time...so I
>>will be nice and give him what he want's

Tis an honor just to know I managed to provoke you :) Let's see what kinda
damage you can do! WOOF!

>>The green one seemed not to notice as he was concocting yet another way to
>>humiliate ThunderWolf.

Humiliate you, Mighty One! Never! On the contrary, I assert I have praised
you at every turn! Your tremendous endurance in the face of
alcohol...you're ability to bounce...your resistance to poodle-bites...your
aim (square in the bathtub)...your cleverness in hatching a plan to defeat
the poodle...

>>A huge light let loose from the ceiling and fell on Fianna, knocking him
>>to the ground.
>>"CUT", hollered Grune, "not enough blood, try it again.
>>"Crap", squeaked the green caninoid dodged another falling light and took
>>off, right into a piece of Plexiglas.

LOL, heh, nice job on catching my character :)

>>"How may times do I have to tell you, you can't type", he reminded his mutt
>>as he hoisted her up and set her on the floor.

That's no mutt, that's my Sweet Baby! Isn't she cute when she sleeps?
Course, you've never seen her sleeping, just...snarling :)

>>With that his computer sucked itself into its power cord and into the
>>outlet.
>>"Why can't my landlord do that" wondered Fianna as he headed out the door.

LOL!! Bravo, I loved that :) Why can't I ever think of cool fx like that?!
Probably cause I'm not one of the Great Old Masters.

>>Attached to the end was a struggling form encased in 2 inches of duct
>>tape.

The only thing that can contain her power!

>>"I came in though your computer.. Top secret new technology", smirked the
>>saberlion.
>>"What do you want", asked Fianna who was sure his dog was history.
>>"This", replied TW as he pushed a button on the remote he was holding.

Two plot devices in one paragraph...is that kosher? ::Looks at referee
Mills Lane. "I'll allow it!" he says:: Okay, I guess it is :)

>>"Let me go ugh", protested the caninoid.

OUCH! I bow to your skill, Mighty One, but of course, you ARE going to have
to pay for that! :)

Shark: A Short-Short Riff For Fianna

>>(Since AOHell decided to go through my last post and convert MS Word
>>2000's apostrophes into ugly hexadecimal characters, here's a cleaned up
>>version of the riff. At least I *hope* it shows the apostrophes this time.
>>Enjoy! And sorry if this is considered a double post;)

No issues Shark! Bring it on!!!!

>> Shark lets out a superficial laugh before crumpling the story into a
>>ball, which he stuffs into his mouth, chews up and swallows, all in one
>>fluid motion.

Superficial? Aw c'mon, surely it was good for a derisive snort?

>>[At his call, Shark's former NTRPG character, Sebastian, the demon child,
>>appears in a puff of smoke.]

And the missus says I have weird friends! :)

>>SEBASTIAN: You make it sound like it's a bad thing. They're my idols; I
>>think they make great role models!

Absolutely! When I grow up, if ever, I wanna be just like ::looks at a list
with several X'd names, including Ronald Reagan, Bill Gates and RD Rivero::
uh, Thunderwolf, yeah!

>>SHARK: Nah the violent revenge angle has already been done. I need
>>something original...I want him humiliated without actually hurting him
>>physically.

Of course you realize, in the unwritten code of the riff, you just raised
the bar :) Now I have to match the challenge you set for yourself, or
surrender! Oh, you slippery fish you...

>>[Sebastian snaps his fingers and a ghostly semitransparent laptop
>>materializes on the rock beside Shark. Shark then takes the laptop and sets
>>to work, searching through its database.]

Definitely one of the best plot devices yet. Say, that doesnt have a Celery
processor, does it?

>>[Sebastian claps his hands together twice, and then Fianna and his poodle
>>magically appear out of thin air. The two dogs look around, completely
>>dazed and confused.]

Woof?

>>FIANNA: Oh no! Not again!

Sorry, gotta confess, I LOVE this stuff! More! More!

>>SEBASTIAN: Oh no you don't, you mangy mongrel!

Mangy! That's my spouse, bub! Where;d I leave that squirt gun with the
holy water, hmmm...

>>Boy did you have this one coming... ::Evil grin::

Once again, bring it on!!!

>>SEBASTIAN: Oh come on! What kind of a riff is this? I thought you
>>wanted to get back at Fianna. Why in the world are you making this out to
>>be such a flattery story?

Uh, yeah?

>>"Can't you see, Honey-Pumpkin?" Fianna explained innocently, "I want her
>>to watch us."

First, I must point out that this comes perilously close to Illicit Use of a
Caninoid, a capitol offense in Judge Poodle's jurisdiction. At least we'll
all die laughing though :)

Second, here in Mundania, the real missus and I are still living in our
camper as we close on our house...and figuring out where to stick our two
dogs during moments of cuddlefication has, indeed, come up :) Bonus points
for intuition there, Sharky!

>>*Silk?*

Whoops, there went the line...gonna have to pay for that. Ask RD, it ain't
pretty either, heh heh...

>>"Fianna, just what in the world are you doing wearing my lingerie?!" The
>>puma demanded.

...So this woman comes home and goes into the bedroom and finds her husband
there. "Take off my shirt," she says, and he does. "Take off my skirt,"
and he does. "Take off my underwear," and he does. "And if I ever catch
you in my clothes again, we're getting divorced!"...

>>Makes me feel all cute and girlish."

LOL!

>>Fianna then let out a very feminine giggle that made Pumyra shrink away
>>from him even further.

Well, not exactly ::snort::

>>SHARK: And the best is yet to come!

::Badly damaged caninoid sways and gasps:: Bring...it...on!

--------------------------------------------------

>>"You don't see them? You don't see the bandits out there, staring in?
>>They're gonna break in, Pumyra! They're gonna break in and kill us!"
>>Fianna then darted under the sheets, quivering, "Save me! Save me!"

LOL!!! But you must pay for this, heh heh heh...

>>"Pumyra," Fianna whimpered, "Pumyra...I think I'm gonna pee in the bed!"

Oh dear...

>>*I really should file for a divorce,* Pumyra thought with a grumble.

Gotta confess, I probably would too, heh heh...

>>SHARK: Glad you liked it. I'm sure it'll teach the nincompoop and his
>>mutt wife to think twice before beating up on my boyfriend or jamming me
>>into a tuna can again.

Then again, maybe not! :)

>>SHARK: Nope...I think spending another month or so as a transvestite with
>>a bitchy wife and a retarded dog will help drive the point home.

Ah, but fortunately you neglected to divest me of my handy palmtop! With
that, I can hack my way outta here in moments...uh...hmm. Pumyra, what
kinda batteries does this laser thingy have in it?

>>(How do you like them apples, Fianna? HAH HAH HAH!)

LOVED it!!! Of course, you're next fate is gonna make you wish TW hadn't
found the can opener. HAH!

Tatiana: From One Female to Another

>>You really asked for this Fianna! (Has anyone been riffed three times in
>>one day? I think this is a new record!)

Hit me with yer best shot! Eh, bring it on was getting old...

>>After Shark had been returned to ThunderWolf andproperly put back together
>>by Tatiana's power, the two left determined to get their revenge on Fianna.

I love being the center of attention. Blame Thundera Tiger...any time a dog
is left idle, they get into mischief :)

>>It was official...there was now a Fianna-Must-Die group (FMD) whose sole
>>purpose was to seek out the green nincompoop and destroy him. Shark,
>>ThunderWolf, and Tatiana made a pact to work together until their
>>enemy had been demolished.

Wow, an entire faction!

>>Now, Tatiana paced the living room floor, her wrath still fired up from
>>the last incident. She couldn't
>>understand how the poodle was so much more powerful than her...

TW summed it up best : "She won't play by the rules."

>>The sorceress laughed out loud and dug around in her purse. With a quick
>>motion, she pulled out a credit
>>card and muttered, "I hope Slithe hasn't figured out yet that I stole this
>>from him."

LOL!

>>She then went through her stack of magazines until she found a particular
>>one. The cover read, "Cat Love."

Uh oh...

>>Vultureman leaned on the other invoice. On it read, "Gillian Anderson -
>>one million dollars. David Duchovny - one million dollars."

I was wondering how you managed to afford that!

>>"That was a great movie, wasn't it, Sweetie?" Fianna asked as he muzzled
>>his poodle.

Miss Congeniality...loved it!

>>She barked and wagged her tail.

She's so cute when she does that :)

>>The room had been completely made over. Stripes and polka dots of purple,
>>red, and green covered the walls. Cat toys sat on the floor. In the center of the room
>>stood a huge scratching post. Dead mice were strung from the ceiling and lowered until
>>they almost hit the ground. The furniture upholstery had pictures of cats. A huge cat
>>portrait hung above the fireplace.

What about it? Sounds like the house we sold to move to Florida...

>>Once over the shock, the poodle grew angry and bared her teeth at Fianna.
>>"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HADN'T GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH THIS
>>GROUP, MY HOUSE WOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS!"

Ack!

>>"But your mother lives five hours away, and I'll miss you," Fianna whimpered.

My poodle! WHAAAAAAAAAHH!

>>Then the undead sorceress whipped her head back and laughed evilly.

BRAVO!!!! Highest marks! TW and Shark's stories were great in their own
right, but once again you retaliated while continuing the essential
storyline, the mark of a master riff. Superb! I cannot wait to see where
you go with this!


Of course, you too must pay :)

Fianna the Vengeance-Plottin'