Oh Shit!
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A WS by:
Shark
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Chanur had never seen a more glorious female. Her mane, like
long strands of the finest gold, adorned her perfectly shaped head.
Her eyes, like a pair of polished sapphires, glittered with life.
Her breasts, like two large scoops of vanilla ice cream, bobbed up
and down, almost spilling out of her tight red evening gown as she
moved. Her nice, firm, supple rear swayed in rhythm with her hips...
Ever since he had arrived at Cats Lair for the annual
Valentine's Day Bash, the hani found himself unable to take his eyes
off of the gorgeous female. He was so enchanted with this woman that
he failed to take notice of the long, sticky strands of drool that
were seeping out of his mouth, landing in the cup of spiked sherbert
punch that he was holding -- nor did he give any attention to the
fact that his raging erection was quite visible under his tight blue
jeans.
Everything that Chanur had planned for the evening -- from
spray-painting RD's scalp purple to snapping pictures of ThunderWolf
and Shark making out in the guest room -- was completely forgotten.
All Chanur could think about was the lovely vixen, and he drastically
searched his mind for a way to engage in a spirited game of tonsil
hockey with her.
The hani's hormones raged, and he couldn't take it anymore.
Carelessly tossing his punch over his shoulder, he took long strides
toward the female, a confident smirk plastered on his smug face.
"Hey, baby, what's up?" Chanur spoke.
The female turned around to face the hani, a little
surprised, "Hi," she spoke cautiously, "do I know you?"
"No," Chanur responded with a slightly drunken giggle, "so
why don't we introduce ourselves?"
"OK," the female smiled, "my name is Rose. What's yours?"
"Chanur," the hani answered, thinking, *Oh boy, I'm gonna
score!*
"Well, Chanur," Rose winked playfully at him, "how about
getting me a drink?"
Before Rose could even finish her request, Chanur was to the
drink table and back again, a large cup of spiked sherbert punch in
hand. The hani had never moved so fast in his entire life.
* * *
The evening went even better than Chanur had hoped. He and
Rose had a marvelous time -- from conversing over drinks to slow
dancing across the floor, Chanur became completely intoxicated over
being in Rose's presence.
Finally, Rose asked him the question that he'd been hoping to
hear:
"Will you take me home?"
Chanur's eyes gleamed victoriously, "Hoo boy! You bet!
You'll really like my place; it's got a wide-screen TV, a Jacuzzi, a
really comfy love sofa..."
"No, silly," Rose giggled, "I mean, take me back to -my-
home. You see, I kinda bummed a ride off one of my friends to get
here, and she left early because she was feeling sick. So now I'm
sorta stranded..."
"Oh," The hani responded, feeling his ego deflate a bit, "ok,
sure, I can take you back to your place. No problem."
"Thank you, sweetie," Rose winked and linked arms with
Chanur, "Shall we depart then?"
As Chanur began to escort his newfound female companion out
to his vehicle, he suddenly felt a strong call of nature.
The hani winced as he thought, *Oh boy, do I have to take a
shit! But I can't excuse myself to the restroom now; it would look
really bad. Ahh well...I'm a grown kitty -- I can hold it until we
get to her place.*
* * *
As it turned out, Rose lived almost two hours away, and worse
yet, the traffic was downright horrendous. As each stressful minute
passed by, his urge to go just got worse and worse. Beads of sweat
started to form at his temples; his teeth clenched as he dug his
claws into the steering wheel.
"Are you all right?" Rose asked, looking over at him from
the passenger's seat.
"I'm...fine, Rose," The hani stuttered.
Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, Chanur wriggled
around in his seat and clenched his ass cheeks together.
* * *
Three and a half hours later, Chanur's vehicle finally pulled
into Rose's driveway. As the hani led Rose to the door, she noticed
that he was walking in a very peculiar manner, but she didn't think
much of it.
"I had such a wonderful time at the party, Chanur," Rose
said, smiling sweetly, "and thank you so much for dropping me off."
"No...problem..." The hani answered, still cringing -- his
anus felt like it was on fire!
As Rose fished her house keys out of her purse and unlocked
the door, she turned to the hani and blushed slightly, "Umm...you
wouldn't mind staying for a while, would you? I was thinking that
maybe we could have a little champagne together."
Through his agony, Chanur managed a smile. He was going to
get laid for sure.
But first, other pressing matters had to be attended to...
The interior of Rose's house was absolutely gorgeous, but
Chanur was in too much pain to appreciate it. Instinctively, his
eyes started searching for the nearest restroom, but being unfamiliar
with the house, he could not seem to locate one.
Suddenly, Rose spoke up again, "I'm going to head to the
restroom to freshen up a bit. I'll be out soon."
Chanur's eyes bugged out of his head at hearing mention of
the word "restroom." Though, before he could ask her where it was,
she had already left his side, sauntering up the stairs in a cute
little butt-wiggling motion.
The hani, now standing alone in the middle of Rose's foyer,
felt his body deliver an ultimatum:
*Either you relieve yourself within the next ten seconds, or
your bowels will explode.*
Chanur's entire body began to perspire, and his face was as
red as a ripe tomato. Even if there was another restroom in the
house, he knew that he could not seek it out -- there just wasn't
enough time.
With his mind on overload, the hani's eyes swept across the
vicinity...and fell upon a walk-in closet. The closet door was open,
and inside, lying in the middle of the narrow carpeted aisle, was a
domesticated sabertooth cat, which Chanur quickly assumed was Rose's
pet. The big cat lounged quietly on the floor, apparently sound
asleep.
At once, a plan formulated in the hani's mind. It was a most
crude and unusual scheme, and Chanur knew it, but he was in a life or
death situation! With his vertical smile still squeezed tightly, the
hani wobbled carefully toward the sabertooth, stopping a couple
inches from the cat's hindquarters. Trying his best not to make too
much noise, Chanur turned around and unbuckled his pants, exposing
his boxer shorts, which were decorated with tiny pink and red
hearts. In one swift motion, the hani pulled down his pants and
boxers.
Chanur squatted, letting natural instincts take over. With a
series of loud farts, the fecal matter that had been tormenting his
bowels for all those long, excruciating hours was finally expelled.
The greenish-brown feces instantly tarnished the rug's clean, pearl-
white color.
At once, the hani felt a wave of mixed emotions course over
him, his face going flush. On one level he was very ashamed of his
actions, but at the same time, another part of him was expressing
tremendous gratitude for the relief.
Chanur nervously turned his head to inspect the sabertooth.
Thankfully, the big cat was still asleep -- the sabertooth had
somehow managed to sleep through the noise of the farts...not to
mention the pungent stench of the steaming fecal pile, which was
puddled mere inches away from the big cat's hindquarters.
With a soft sigh, the hani carefully stood up and pulled his
boxers and pants back into place. The deed was done...now all he
needed was Rose to fall for his little scheme.
*This -should- work; I mean, Rose is definitely not the
brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree,* Chanur thought before looking
back at the dozing sabertooth, "Better you than me, buddy," the hani
muttered under his breath.
As misfortune would have it, Rose happened to walk by just as
Chanur came out of the closet. The hani's eyes went wide as he
jumped back in surprise.
"There you are, Chanur! I've been looking everywhere for
you," Rose said, giving him an inquisitive look, "Are you feeling
OK? You look like you've just seen a ghost."
"Y...Yes, Rose. I'm fine," Chanur gasped.
Suddenly, Rose began to sniff the air, "By the gods! What is
that awful smell?"
A tooth of cold pierced Chanur's spine, his mind racing.
This was it -- the moment of truth.
Rose followed the stench into the walk-in closet...and let
out a bloodcurdling scream as she discovered the pile of feces
sitting on the rug.
Chanur swallowed hard. Gathering up all the nerve he could
muster, the hani lifted his hand and pointed at the sabertooth
cat, "Oh no, Rose," Chanur spoke, trying his best to remain calm,
"It
looks like your pet sabertooth had an accident."
Rose then whirled around and locked eyes with Chanur, her
face contorted in an expression of total bewilderment, "But how can
that be?!" She shrieked, "It's just a stuffed animal!"
THE END