[In a stately office, RD sits on a full-back leather chair, holding a comb pipe in his hands.]

RD: Lately, it's come to my attention that certain individuals out there had the strange opinion that I am an evil person who hates tigers and kills them
wantonly. [He bangs the pipe on the table, setting it aside:] Nothing can be further from the truth. Why, I love tigers -- Tygra and I -- [He opens a
drawer from the desk but some joker had turned it upside down and out from it spews several shrunken Tygra heads.] Now, how did those get there?
It must have been one of the snarf, hahaha!

[He stands and approaches a chest, upon which several obscenely long elephant guns are displayed.]

RD: I am a man of peace, sensitive to violence.

[The gun display rotates to show racks of hand grenades and other explosives.]

RD: And to prove that Tygra and I are friends, here he is to tell you himself.

[RD turns a swivel chair around. Tygra is on it, clearly dead. The fingers are green and moldy, the eyes are propped open by tooth picks, the mouth
cast in a permanent smile by a thin wire mesh.]

RD: See, see how happy he is!

Man from behind camera: Oh, um, RD? That Tygra looks dead.

RD: HAHHAHAHA! This Tygra is not dead --

[The corpse of Tygra flops on to the floor.]

RD: And remember folks, a neutered snarf, is a happy snarf!

Man from behind camera: PSST! I think he's dead.

RD: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!