Psycho Killer (Part 2 of the TW trilogy)
By Purrsia Kat
Purrsia sat at the bar, slumped dejectedly over her untouched
drink. Normally, Servali's constant turning back and fourth in his
swivel bar stool wouldn't bother Purrsia. However, she was under too
much stress given the fact that ThunderWolf was likely on the prowl.
Grasping the serval firmly by the shoulders, she growled, "Stop that
infernal twisting!"
Servali sighed and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Purrsia. You're
just all pissy because ThunderWolf's going to kill that brainless
oaf, Lion-O."
Both turned at the sound of a man clearing his throat.
Purrsia broke into a dreamy grin. "Lion-O! You made it here!"
Servali laughed nervously. "Oh, yes, glad you found the
place, Lion-O. And by brainless oaf, I meant that in the best way --
you know, in the way that only a brainless oaf who is also *the* Lord
of the ThunderCats could be. I mean, if you're an idiot, what does
that make us--"
"Oh, well, if *that's* the way you meant it, no harm done,"
Lion-O said in all seriousness.
Purrsia was too mesmerized by Lion-O's bulging biceps to
notice he just proved Servali's statement to be true. She snapped out
of her lustful daze long enough to tip Servali's bar chair, sending
the serval sprawling onto the floor. Patting the now vacant stool,
Purrsia smiled at Lion-O. "Please...sit down."
Lion-O glanced at Servali, then shrugged. "Okay," he said,
sitting beside Purrsia.
Servali grumbled as he got to his feet and brushed himself
off. "For that, I hope ThunderWolf tears both of you to shreds."
"Huh?" Lion-O exclaimed in alarm.
"Nothing," Purrsia sighed breathlessly. Lion-O shifted a bit
uncomfortably under her penetrating stare. "ThunderWolf won't find
us here."
"But I thought my cousin was locked up in the lovely
Springfield Institute, under the competent care of Dr. Zhie..." Lion-
O pondered the idea with a slightly blank look.
"He would still be, if Purrsia hadn't tricked me into going
to visit him!" Servali declared indignantly.
"Hey now, you're the one who caused TW to go all nuts-o by
mentioning Lion-O--"
"Wait a Snarf-snivelin' minute!" Lion-O exclaimed. "He went
nuts-o? What are you saying? That ThunderWolf is on the move?"
Purrsia sighed. "I'm afraid, ThunderWolf is loose."
Servali groaned. "That wasn't really cute the first time it
was said...besides, we don't know for sure he got out, remember? We
ran outta there like a pair of snarves with their tail fur on fire."
"That's why I had us meet here...I figure, if he is out, he
won't find us here. No one comes to this bar," Purrsia reasoned.
The feline bartender paused in her drying of the shot glasses
upon overhearing Purrsia's matter-of-fact comment, "You wanna take
that back, lioness?"
Purrsia grinned sheepishly at Silvercat. "Er, sorry S'kat,
but even you complain about how no one comes here..."
"For bringing that point up, I also hope ThunderWolf finds
you both and rips you to shreds," Silvercat replied.
************************
Dr. Zhie let out a sigh of exhaustion as she rested against
the wall. Subduing ThunderWolf had not been easy and she'd seen her
life flash before her eyes more than once during the struggle.
Pushing back an errant lock of her spotted hair and quickly
straightening her disheveled lab coat, Dr. Zhie approached the table
to which ThunderWolf was bound. The cheetah was also sure she'd never
hear the end of it from the resident she had to call in to help her
get ThunderWolf under control. Though she never thought she'd utter
the words, she had to nonetheless. "Uh, thank you, Chibi Lion-O, for
your assistance," muttered Zhie through a forced grin. "Now leave,
you pink-pig tailed pest!" she added mentally.
The stubby sailor freak of nature stood barely higher than
the table, but his attitude was large enough to fill the room. He
roughly bit off the end of his cigar, and discarded what was left of
the lit stub onto ThunderWolf's bare chest. Chibi Lion-O was unfazed
by ThunderWolf's resulting howl of pain.
Shark let out a cry of empathy, but was too wary of Chibi Lion-O to
do much about it -- for now.
"Shut up, ya stupid fish," Chibi Lion-O growled at
Shark. "Cigar burns don't even hurt that bad -- your boyfriend's just
a wimp." Turning to Zhie, he spat the chewed cigar butt at her. It
landed in an unsightly blob onto her lab coat, dripping down over her
name tag. "Take your thanks and shove it up your feline ass. I
didn't do it for you, I did it because I hate this piece of shit
here," he explained, gesturing at ThunderWolf. "Ever since he lifted
up my skirt in the cafeteria a few weeks ago, I had it in for the
little pansy."
ThunderWolf writhed against the restraints on his wrists and
ankles that bound him to the table, and growled furiously. Chibi Lion-
O jumped up onto ThunderWolf's sweaty, heaving chest. "Betcha won't
be mocking me again, lion," Chibi Lion-O snarled. He then bent and
backhanded ThunderWolf hard across the face.
Normally, Shark would be one turned on fish upon hearing the
sweet music of ThunderWolf's sweaty flesh being smacked. But not when
that strangely emasculated midget was doing the smacking! If not for
the scowl on his face, one would think Shark was smiling as he
snapped his jaw open and shut, both rows of razor sharp teeth
glistening in the florescent light of the asylum's lab.
If shark had fists, he'd be clenching them. The fish watched
Chibi Lion-O jump up and down on ThunderWolf's chest, sneering about
how he wears a skirt yet he's more of a lion than ThunderWolf.
Just when Shark couldn't take it anymore, a dull thump was heard,
followed soon by a second thump as Chibi Lion-O hit the floor in a
heap of unconsciousness. Shark's mouth stilled itself in mid-chomp
and the fish blinked several times before he realized it was Zhie who
felled the little jerk.
Zhie, still gripping the baseball bat with which she'd womped
Chibi Lion-O, said, "Sharky. Take Chibi back to his cell."
Shark flashed a toothy grin. "Of course, fair cheetah."
Zhie gave him a strict look of warning. "But be nice. I know
you're angry with the little bastard, but here at Springfield we
don't kill the residents. Torture, maybe, but not kill."
"Right. No kill," Shark repeated as he scooped Chibi Lion-O
up and tucked him under a fin. Chibi's rear end was facing Zhie, and
his skirt fell back revealing ruffle-y pink undies beneath.
Zhie rolled her eyes. "No secret why *that one* is in the nut
house," she muttered under her breath. "Oh, and could you see if RD
and Hoax have arrived yet?" she called after Shark, not sure if he'd
heard her.
It was then that Hoax materialized beside Zhie, effectively
startling the wits out of her. "Dammit, Hoax. Stop doing that or I'm
going to take a pin and pop your stupid inflatable Cheetara doll!"
"Well, I thought you called for me," Hoax defended himself
with measurable irritation. "And that was no *doll* you've seen me
courting about town -- that was the beautiful Cheetara in the flesh."
"Okay, one more crack like that and I'm gonna admit your
delusional ass," Zhie said, completely out of patience with the
insanity surrounding her.
Hoax crossed his arms, and began to fade from sight. "I just
remembered. I have a prior engagement with a much *sexier* cheetah
than yourself," he declared with nose firmly pointing upward.
As much as the psy lunie was getting on her nerves, Zhie had
to swallow her pride or be left alone with ThunderWolf, who was
currently frothing at the mouth. "I guess you're too squeamish to
help with shock treatments anyway," Zhie commented nonchalantly.
Hoax popped back in sight immediately. "Shock treatments?" he
echoed with a curious arch of his brow. ThunderWolf grunted and
struggled upon hearing the current topic of conversation.
Shark returned at that moment, flanked by RD and Kam. "I'm
ba -- ::beeeelch::" Accompanying the belch was single blue girl's
shoe, which came popping out of Shark's massive mouth. Zhie
immediately recognized it as belonging to Chibi Lion-O.
"Shark!" she exclaimed in exasperation, looking from the
shoe on the ground to Shark and back again.
Shark wore a sheepish grin as he plied his fins together
nervously. "Heh heh, well, it's not what you think."
RD shrugged. "I saw you chomp that pig-tailed freak in the
lobby, Shark. What's the big deal anyway? You should be commended for
such a service."
Shark relented as his lame cover was blown. "Alright,
alright. I ate the creep. And it just figures the little bastard
would give me heartburn."
Zhie sighed. Yet another thing she'd have to explain to the
hospital board. "Anyway, what's Kam doing here? He fall off the cake
wagon again?"
"I do my best not to fall off the dessert cart, dear lady,"
Kam replied. "And I do believe something can be said for excess. Just
because you and your brethren with doctorates don't think cake
obsession is normal doesn't mean I'm harmed in the least by it. It's
all subjective."
Zhie glanced down at the duffle bag Kam was carrying, pretty
sure of what the contents were. "Whatever. Let's focus here on
helping ThunderWolf."
"Oh, yes, let's get to *helping* ThunderWolf," RD and Kam
said in unison. A mischievous grin spread across Hoax's face.
Zhie went about her work attaching numerous electrodes to
ThunderWolf's head and chest. Shark looked worried. "This won't do
any damage, will it? At least, not permanently, right? I mean,
ThunderWolf and I love a good shock, and all--"
"Don't be such a skittish shark," RD said soothingly. Too
soothingly, really. "He'll be fine -- no worse than licking a nine
volt battery."
Zhie glanced up at RD and looked as if she was about to
differ with him, when Hoax spoke up. "Yeah, don't be such a frighty
fish, Shark. Shocking someone is highly therapeutic. It's second only
to lobotomy."
Zhie cleared her throat. "Anyway, he's all hooked up. RD, if
you want to throw the switch over there..."
"Do I? Lady, you need not ask," RD declared on his way to the
red switch that jutted out of the wall. "Just holler `toast `em' when
you're ready," RD announced, his hand resting casually on the switch.
Dr. Zhie glared at RD as Shark gasped due to his choice of
words. Looking down at ThunderWolf, she tried to get him to open his
mouth and bite down on the bit she offered. The lion, however,
thrashed his head about furiously and kept his jaw clamped tightly
shut. "Dammit," Zhie grumbled.
"Allow me," Kam said airily, unzipping the bag he carried. He
produced what looked like a double layer chocolate cake. "Have some
delicious cake, TW," Kam cried as he shoved the entire confection
into ThunderWolf's face.
ThunderWolf spat and gagged, chocolate cake -- or what
appeared to be chocolate cake -- in an effort to keep from choking.
Suddenly, his muzzle wrinkled and his brow furrowed in a fierce
expression of disgust.
"What in the hell is in that `cake', Kam?" Zhie demanded.
"Oh it's homemade...my aunt's special recipe, handed down
through the family intestines for generations," Kam replied, the
picture of matter-of-factness.
Shark inhaled sharply, his face contorting into a demented
grimace. "Are you telling me you're force feeding *my* lion....shit??"
Kam wiped a mass of the brown `treat' from ThunderWolf's
cheek, and offered it to Shark. "Why don't you taste for yourself."
"I'd be delighted," the fish replied, opening his jaw wide,
intending on taking off Kam's hand in the process.
RD apparently took this as his cue to throw the switch,
causing what would have been a lethal current of electricity for
anyone else, to course through ThunderWolf's body. However, RD had
thrown the switch with too much enthusiasm and the lever broke off
his hand. "Oops," he muttered with not much concern evident in his
tone.
ThunderWolf writhed and undulated on the table, drool in the
form of caked goop seeping from his mouth and his eyes lolling back
in his head. Shark made the mistake of grabbing onto ThunderWolf,
likely in a desperate move to free his love. The finned one likewise
did the curious electrocution dance.
Hoax held an expression of displeasure as the air began to
reek of singed fur and cooked fish. "Perhaps this wasn't as much fun
as I thought..."
"Crap, crap, crap!" Zhie cried. "RD, what the hell? We're
trying to shock the nuttiness out of him, not roast his chestnuts!"
RD glanced at the lever he still held and shrugged as he
casually tossed it over his shoulder. "I didn't do it on purpose.
Sorry."
"I'm insane for asking any of you to help. That's the problem
here," Zhie said with a sigh. "I'll have to shut down the power to--"
The electricity had weakened the straps that bound
ThunderWolf, and the lion managed to break free and sit upright. He
angrily ripped the electrodes from his chest.
"Holy...crap," Zhie whispered.
Shark staggered about, dazed from his bout with the
electricity. Kam stepped aside to avoid the stumbling fish, and
remarked, "If you ask me, ThunderWolf looks *crazier*, not better."
Everyone in the room, save for the dazed shark, cringed as
ThunderWolf let loose with a deafening roar.
"I'm out of here," Hoax declared, starting to fade from
view. "I've got cheetahs to chase--" Hoax's need to stick around and
spout quips proved unhealthy, as ThunderWolf brutally backhanded the
Lunatak. Hoax landed 10 feet away, crashing into a group of supply
carts in a heap of unconsciousness.
Kam was the next to pay, as ThunderWolf made him feast on a knuckle
sandwich in much the same manner Kam had `offered' his special cake
to ThunderWolf.
Zhie mouthed the words `run for it' to RD as she bolted for
the door....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Servali sat sulking at the bar. Silvercat paced behind the
bar, grumbling about Purrsia, Lion-O and the ThunderCat
Lord's `stupid uber-tool'. "That's my damn private room. Only *I*
have the key....but that stupid lion and his stupid sword...I can`t
believe it can really do *anything*." Silvercat seethed. "What are
they doing in there, anyway?"
Servali rolled his eyes and swilled the drink in his shot
glass. "You really don't want to know. I wish I *didn't* know."
"What the--" Silvercat yelled, her attention diverted to the
door of her pub being ripped forcefully from its hinges.
ThunderWolf's unmistakable form loomed where the door had
been. "Great holy frickin' Jaga," Servali sputtered.
Silvercat, however, looked more pissed than frightened. That
is until ThunderWolf stepped into the light and toward the bar, the
crazed and deadly intent in his eyes blazing.
"Where is that stinking pile of dung that calls himself the
Lord of the ThunderCats?" ThunderWolf asked the pair.
"They're, er uh, he's not here," Servali stammered while
edging off the barstool.
At the same time, Silvercat blurted, "He's in my office.
You're welcome to exterminate him."
ThunderWolf glared at Servali. "Did you lie to me, serval?"
Servali gulped. "No, no, no, no, no. What I meant was, he's
*here*. In the office like S'kat said. Yeah, he's here alright. Right
in that office. Yessir, ThunderWolf, sir. Right there in the--"
"Shut-up!" ThunderWolf roared. "Repeat yourself one more
time, and I'll choke you to death...you got that?"
"Right. Shut up. Can do." Servali said humbly, backing away.
ThunderWolf shoved Servali harshly as he walked past, going
in the direction in which Silvercat was eagerly pointing.
When the crazed lion reached the room in question, he kicked
the door open. ThunderWolf was immediately sickened at the sight
before him. Lion-O and Purrsia were stretched across SilverCat's
desk, nearly naked and locked at the lips. Lion-O actually had to
push Purrsia off of him, as the door getting smashed in failed to
bring her out of her lustful euphoria.
"Huh? What? Too much tongue, my dear?" Purrsia asked,
blinking. Her dopey expression changed to that of complete terror
upon noticing ThunderWolf. "Gah!" she screamed, hastily covering her
exposed chest, obviously not taking into account that ThunderWolf
would not be interested in her wares in the least.
"You're dead, cousin," ThunderWolf declared coolly. "And you,
Purrsia, are dead for fornicating with this pathetic excuse for a
cat."
ThunderWolf moved in for the kill. Lion-O glanced to Purrsia
with eyes wide. "Man, when the Sword signaled danger just a second
ago, I thought it was because of your `dangerous' lovin'," he
whispered.
Purrsia panicked as ThunderWolf rapidly closed the distance
between them. "Wait, wait!" she begged him. "I have a way the two of
you can resolve this with honor."
ThunderWolf scoffed. "I care not about smarmy values such as
honor."
"Okay, fair enough," Purrsia agreed hastily. "But what if I
tell you this involves the possibility of publicly humiliating Lion-
O?"
ThunderWolf paused, his hands just inches from Lion-O's
neck. "Really?"
"Hey!" Lion-O whined at Purrsia. "Humiliate *me*? Who's side
are you on?"
Purrsia flashed Lion-O a forced grin. "Shut up and you'll
find out," she muttered through clenched teeth.
TO BE CONTINUED....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire
Psycho Killer
Qu'est Que C'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est Que C'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
Ce que j'ai fais, ce soir la
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir la
Realisant mon espoir
Je me lance, vers la gloire ... OK
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite
-- Psycho Killer by Talking Heads