Anyway, my apologies for making this section so long, but it just kept going
and I really couldn't find an ending. And more apologies for not getting
everyone in at once, but doesn't that look a little contrived? Anyway, four
authors make their appearance in this section and I promise that you will
all get in eventually. I just make take more time for some than for others.
Anyway, enjoy!
__________________________
Robin Hood: Cats in Tights
__________________________
To say it was hot, dry, and desolate would be to dramatically understate the
point. It was more than hot, it was far more than dry, and desolation didn't
even begin to cover it. In one brief word, this land was hell. And even
that was woefully inadequate.

Blazing down from the blue sky and reflecting off the mirror-like sand, the
scorching sun saw to it that no drop of moisture remained in the desert.
The air was dead. Not a hint of breeze or glimmer of relief entered this
forsaken realm. This was death's kingdom and the grim reaper's playground.
Those who sought to cross this forbidden world were either very foolish or
very brave. Usually they were both and neither quality was of any use to
travelers once they entered.

Yet on the outskirts of such a world, life struggled. Despite the fierce
sun and the unforgiving sand, life fought for a hold in this land that
defied all attempts to tame it. And not only did life struggle to survive,
life struggled to dominate. Nor did this domination pertain strictly to the
land itself. As if simple survival was not difficult enough, people warred
over this land, killed over this land, bled over this land, and ultimately
died over this land. And in the end, the desert laughed, for in the end,
this land was still death's kingdom.

To one poor soul, the mirthless laugh of the desert was frighteningly clear.
His lungs burned as he gulped at the dry air. Skin reddened by the sun to
match the color of his hair cried out in agony as the lion found himself
flung down a long flight of stairs. He came to an abrupt halt at the bottom
as his face met with the unyielding stone. Wondering whether or not his
nose was broken, Lion-O tried to get to his feet before his tormentor could
reach him. But the lion had not accounted for the other lion's speed.
Taking the stairs in two leaps, Thunderwolf landed heavily beside the
prisoner, his knees bending slightly as he absorbed the impact of his
massive body weight. Rippling muscles highlighted by streams of sweat
glistened in the dim light of the dungeon and a dangerous smile met Lion-O's
tired eyes.

"Up, prisoner!"

Lion-O was long past the stage of being able to rise on his own, yet this
did not prevent him from trying. For his efforts, he earned a harsh laugh
and a chokehold around his neck as Thunderwolf hauled him to his feet.

"Ah, hello! Welcome. Welcome to..your dungeon!"

A small shriek of terror managed to coax its way out of Lion-O's throat.
Standing before him, bedecked with the finest of assassin's blades, towered
one of his most hated and feared opponents. "Axelle," he hissed.

Axelle smiled, an action that offered nothing in the way of comfort to the
Lord of the Thundercats. "I'm flattered that you remember me."

"But..but aren't you on my side? I mean..last time you..well..no..I mean.."

"Sides are very flexible for an assassin," the author commented with a grin
that was somewhere between maniacal and sadistic with a hint of the insane.
"Now allow me to show you to your cell."

With Thunderwolf's "assistance," Lion-O followed the trained killer through
a series of corridors and mazes. His bleary mind tried to hark back to
exactly how he'd gotten himself into this mess, but for the life of him
(something that hung in a precarious balance at the moment) he couldn't
remember. The last clear mental picture he had was of a calm morning
sitting down to breakfast at Cat's Lair. There'd been something of a
reprieve from the authors lately because they were either chasing strange
dogs around the countryside or trying to embalm RD. What one had to do with
the other he wasn't entirely certain and probably never would be. Tygra had
mentioned that Thundera Tiger was thinking of writing another riff, but
wasn't she still trapped in Mundania?

"Apparently not," the lion surmised.

"What was that?" Thunderwolf growled, enjoying himself far too much for
Lion-O's comfort. He wondered what sort of story he'd fallen into. For
that matter, he wondered what the odds were of him surviving beyond the
exposition. Sometimes he was kept around. A few of the authors were kind
enough to let him get in a few hits. Thundera Tiger usually didn't knock
her characters off until a few chapters in. As Thunderwolf shoved him
forward again, Lion-O felt a pain of regret at this. Tiger's last story had
involved his hair turning from red to gray to pink. This story apparently
involved a lot of pain.

"Duck," Axelle suddenly called.

"What?" Lion-O's head shot up, her words breaking his train of thought and
his mind grasping at comprehension. His brain was sent into a further whirl
when he slammed his skull into a low doorway.

"I always seem to forget that," the assassin murmured. Lion-O groaned in
response. Thunderwolf grunted his impatience with the proceedings and
affected an air suggesting that any time Axelle would like to get on with
this would be fine with him. "Right, well then.." Axelle glanced around the
room. "Oh yes. I'm sorry but we cannot seat you without the proper attire.
See?"

Lion-O dutifully looked toward the other prisoners. It took several blinks
to convince himself that what he was seeing was real. "What are they--"

Axelle forestalled any questions with a snap of her fingers. One of the
many prison guards stepped forward and with great ceremony placed a pair of
bunny ears on Lion-O's head. "That's much better," she said, nodding her
approval. "And now I will leave you in the capable hands of our head dungeon
guard, Shark."

An amphibious looking creature stepped forward and exchanged sly glances
with Thunderwolf who was wrenching Lion-O's arms behind his back and trying
to elicit a scream.

"It's better if you cooperate with them," Axelle added in an undertone.
"They're tough guys."

"Right," Lion-O acknowledged as he was tossed roughly to the ground.

"And if there's anything you require, please don't hesitate to scream," the
assassin concluded brightly. Directly on cue, a stricken cry issued from
one of the adjoining dungeons. "Coming!" Axelle called. "We're so busy!" She
hurried out, slamming her head on the low doorway and yelping out a few
curses that would have temporarily frozen Panthro. Lion-O was impressed.

"Follow me," Shark ordered, grabbing Lion-O by his flaming red hair and
throwing him into a seat, bunny ears and all. "Please, sit," the morphing
amphibian added as an afterthought.

"Nice of you to offer," the lion growled.

"So," Thunderwolf began, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at
the defiant figure before him. "Where is Jaga?"

That question earned him a pair of raised eyebrows from both Shark and
Lion-O. "Why do we want to know where Jaga is?" Shark hissed.

Thunderwolf shook his head, his threatening visage softening to one of
bewilderment. "I have no idea. I just..I just said it."

"Which Jaga?" Lion-O demanded petulantly, not catching any of their
conversation. "Jaga the Smarmer? Jaga the Lord of the Thundercats? Or maybe
you mean Java? How about a cappuccino? You're looking a little on the weak
and tired side. Oh wait, you ALWAYS look like that. Of course, with a face
like that you're probably up all night recovering from rejections. That
would explain it. And then there's the fish over there. I wondered what
that smell was at first, but he stepped forward and--"

"That does it," Thunderwolf growled. "I don't care if he does know where
Jaga is, he's a dead lion. Shark, the bunny tails."

Lion-O's fellow prisoners recoiled in horror at the mention of the dreaded
bunny tails. Lion-O himself was somewhat in the dark, having missed most of
Bunny-Ra in Spaceballs due to Axelle's kind ministrations, but he had a
sneaky suspicion he was about to find out the hard way just what the bunny
tails did.

Shark advanced, gingerly holding what appeared to be two cotton balls.
Thunderwolf took them, also displaying great caution and trepidation, and
then moved toward Lion-O. Lion-O tried to shuffle back, but Shark was
there, holding him in place with a strength the weary lion could not have
matched had he been at full health. Squeezing his eyes shut, Lion-O felt
the two rabbit tails placed in his ears and then..

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

**I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..**

"Are you ready to talk now?!" Thunderwolf demanded.

Lion-O sobbed helplessly and pawed at his face.

"I think that means no but maybe in a minute," Shark translated.
Thunderwolf growled several expletives and dropped into a round of grunts
and grumbles.

"What did he say?" Lion-O sniffed, regaining some of his lost composure
though much of it was now permanently obliterated.

Shark thought for a minute, looked at Thunderwolf, looked at Lion-O, and
then smiled. "You don't want to know."

Lion-O had a feeling that this was probably the case, but that didn't stop
the nagging thought that he should probably find out anyway. But before he
could pursue the matter, Shark had hauled him off his bench and forced him
toward the wall where another prisoner was shackled.

"You're very brave for a not-at-home boy," Lion-O's cellmate commented with
more than a hint of sarcasm.

Lion-O smiled weakly and attempted to put up a bit more resistance as Shark
slapped on the manacles. "I try."

"Well, I've been in this place for a while. Perhaps I can be of some service
to you. Do you have any questions?"

Not for the first time in his life, and certainly not for the last time,
Lion-O's mind drew a large blank. "Uh..what are you in for?"

The prisoner's face drew itself into a frown. "I forgot. Axelle pulled me
aside and told me to sit next to an empty space. So I did. Then Thunderwolf
and Shark locked me up. And now I'm here."

Lion-O nodded to show his understanding, though he was far from
understanding anything at this point. He tugged at his chains and glanced
around the prison. "Well, it won't be easy getting out of here. What we need
is a great feat of strength."

"Feat of strength," his cellmate murmured. An intelligent look crossed her
face, a rarity in the dungeons of Thundercat fanfiction. "On the contrary.
Now that you are here with me, what we have is great strength of feet!"

This time, Lion-O was at a complete loss. "You're an author, aren't you,"
the lion accused.

"Yes, how did you guess?" the author asked brightly.

"Because I didn't understand a word you just said."

"Oh. Well, that's okay. Just do as I do. Put your feet up on this bar." The
author indicated a metal rod that was set up before them and over which
their manacles were wound. "Yes, both feet. Now, on the count of kick." She
looked to see if Lion-O was ready or not. The lion nodded. "Kick!"

There was a harsh grating noise as metal scraped across the rough stone of
the dungeon and then the bar came free. Lion-O and the author were in the
midst of celebrating when Shark tore around the corner.

"What was that noise?!"

"The noise?" Lion-O echoed intelligently.

"The noise..the noise you heard was..the breaking of this poor lion's heart,"
the author filled in quickly.

"Oh yes, that's it," Lion-O added, continuing to display his natural gift
for thinking on his feet.

"What do you mean?" Shark asked cautiously.

"Well, this stupid cat has decided to save his own neck by betraying his
leader," the author filled in.

"You mean he's going to tell Thunderwolf where Jaga is?" Shark asked
breathlessly. "That's wonderful news!"

"Yes, so go and tell him before the lion changes his mind."

"This will make TW very happy! You have no idea how much fun he is when he's
very happy!" Shark prattled on.

"Go," the author begged.

"This could mean a wonderful night tonight!"

"Please, go!"

"Good news is always rewarded!" Shark trumpeted, skipping merrily out of the
room.

The author and Lion-O grinned at one another and began slipping off the
chains. They acted too soon, though, because within a second, Shark was
back. "Of course, bad news is severely punished," he added. He thought about
that for a moment and then decided it had been a rather pointless thing to
say. With a wave of a morphing flipper, he was gone.

"Finally," Lion-O breathed. "Come on, let's get out of here." He started
toward the exit when a hand stopped him.

"Wait, I know a better way. If we go that way, we'll have to fight the
guards."

"Oh. Okay, what's your way?"

"Watch."

The author closed her eyes and began a mystical chant. It reminded Lion-O of
some chants Tatiana used to murmur, but this was not Tatiana. In fact,
Lion-O had no idea who this was. He was about to inquire when a rumbling
shook the prison. The earth split apart and an unearthly howling filled the
room.

"What in the name of Thundera is happening?!" Lion-O demanded.

He soon had his answer. At least, what might have passed for an answer.
Considering where he was, Lion-O was quite willing to accept it as an
answer. A skeletal hand still dripping with decaying flesh reached out of
the gaping hole in the dungeon floor. It was followed by an arm and
eventually a torso.

"Looks like someone ended up on the wrong end of a sausage grinder," Lion-O
murmured.

The undead creature growled something that might have been an insult, but
the language was so foreign that Lion-O decided to take it as a compliment.
After all, anything sounding that bizarre was probably just the opposite of
what he was expecting.

"Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats, meet Imhotep, the walking plague upon
mankind."

"Nice to meet you," Lion-O stammered.

Imhotep looked around the prison in condescention and then disappeared back
into the earth. "Come on, let's go," the author instructed, jumping down
after him. "And by the way, my name is Peachyra."

"Great," Lion-O grumbled. "A walking corpse, another author, and an assassin
who doesn't know which side she's on. What else does this story have to
offer?" Still, underground seemed to be a better place than above ground.
With a sigh, Lion-O hopped down after Peachyra. Within seconds, the hole
closed up behind them.

Shark breathlessly burst into the room with Thunderwolf right on his tail.
"I've got Thunderwolf with me and..and.." The two authors searched the room.
Thunderwolf turned a rather interesting shade of angry red and Shark decided
the desert was really not for him. With a terrified yelp, he took off for
the sea. Thunderwolf was not far behind.

From a discreet hiding place, Axelle chuckled quietly. She gathered her
gear and quietly left the prison
__________________________
TBC

Robin Hood 2