Robin Hood: Cats in Tights
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"DUCK!"
Fianna tossed two Grunes across the room, wincing as Kamanchee, Peachyra,
Lynx-O, and Tygra all missed the command to duck.
"Duck? Where?" Ayanna bounced happily, weaving in and out of the
Grunes like
a skier in a slalom.
"Not duck as in quack," Tygris corrected irritably. Using the wall as
a
launching point, she landed on the back of one Grune and sank her teeth into
his neck, breaking the spine. "Duck as in incoming."
"An incoming duck?" Ayanna asked.
"Forget it," Thundera Tiger growled, bowling into the legs of a Grune
and
knocking him into another. Once the two were down, a heavy forepaw swipe to
one gutted him while a quick bite to the other tore out his windpipe.
"You'll never explain the concept of 'duck' to these people."
"I'm hungry," Chanur announced, dropping to the floor as Fianna sent
three
more Grunes flying across the room. "Any chance you can write in a real
duck?"
"Would you forget the duck?" Fianna shouted. He'd realized something
slightly disconcerting. They were in trouble. TT, Tygris, Chanur, himself,
and even Lion-O were having some success holding the nearly naked Grunes at
bay, but it wasn't enough. Peachyra was obsessed with waving a mushroom
around, Tygra was hiding behind a pillar out of sight of RD, Lynx-O was
pummeling said pillar with all the might and fury of an angry Thundercat,
Kamanchee had taken three direct blows to the head and looked decidedly
dizzy, and Ayanna was having great fun playing tag. If something didn't
change soon, the Grunes would win, the story would be over, and Team Tiger
would lose. And for a fic written by Thundera Tiger, that was unheard of.
About then, the tide of battle shifted.
A scream for help just outside the banquet hall caught everyone's attention,
and then Spark threw herself into the room, accidentally taking out four
Grunes in the process. And right on her tail came...
"Sher Kahn?!"
Kahn's massive form heaved, his jaws glistened with saliva, and his raging
eyes conveyed no hint of recognition as he surveyed the occupants of the
room. A throaty roar sent several chandaliers tumbling to the ground. Spread
claws clicking on marble floor, the large siberian advanced on his prey.
"Check please?" RD suddenly cried, sinking behind his throne.
"Table one?"
Spark sprinted madly across the room, grabbed Benni's wrist, and started
hauling her toward a side door. "Come on, ??i ?. This is no place for the
ladies!"
"Am I the only one who can't pronounce that!?" RD wailed.
"What's wrong with him?" Tiger hissed.
"That's what he looked like when I ran into him earlier," Fianna
whispered
back. "He's rabid. Look at the foam!"
Even the Grunes seemed to respect this new combatant and were giving him a
wide berth while they evaluated his strength. Kahn gave them no heed. His
eyes were locked on Team Tiger as it grouped together near the center of the
room.
"Anyone have any bright ideas?" Chanur asked.
"Let him eat cake," Kam pronounced philosophically. Peachyra hit him
with
her mushroom.
"Someone should distract him while everyone else makes a break for the
doors," Lion-O whispered. The others turned to look at him with amazement.
"What? I can't have a strategically sound idea once in my life?"
"Question is, who's going to be the bait," Tygra pointed out.
"And don't
even think it!" he added when the attention turned toward him. "I've
been
humiliated enough this fic."
"Ayanna," TT suddenly said. "Ayanna, you were playing tag with
the Grunes,
right?"
The hyper cheetah nodded hyperly.
"Think you could play tag with Sher Kahn?"
Ayanna jumped up and down in excited anticipation. "Oh boy! You bet, I can
play a great game of tag with him. Just watch. This is going to be great.
You'll never see a game like this again. This is going to be--"
"Tag! You're it!" Peachyra yelled, slapping the cheeth on the back.
Ayanna
jumped and raced toward Sher Kahn. In his madness, the siberian didn't seem
the least bit startled and raced to meet her. Just as his jaws were prepared
to sink into her throat, Ayanna skidded to the side, whipped around, and
wound her tail around Kahn's forelegs.
"You're it!" she cried merrily, racing away as only a cheetah can
race. With
a roar of anger, Sher Kahn immediately gave chase. The two sprinted straight
for RD's throne and the open door behind it where LD was vanishing.
"Help me, help me! Hurt them, hurt them!" RD screamed, racing after
his
insane sheriff.
"Yes, hurt you, hurt you, help them, help them!" LD echoed.
"Tag, tag, tag!" Ayanna chanted, catching up with both the sheriff and
the
insane dictator, barelling through them, and continuing into the side hall
beyond.
"Fianna, think you could get the door?" Tiger asked when the remaining
Grunes turned their attention back to Team Tiger.
"Not a problem," the green nincompoop responded, moving swiftly to the
door
where some of the Grunes had pulled down another heavy crossbar.
"Well, it's been a pleasure," Kamanchee said, backing away with the
others.
"But I think we've worn out our welcome."
"DUCK!" Fianna shouted, shouldering the crossbar and then tossing it
forward.
Once again, Kamanchee, Peachyra, Lynx-O, and Tygra all missed the cue and
were knocked unconscious by the flying beam of oak.
"Grab them and let's get out of here!" Tiger ordered, seizing Tygra's
uniform with her teeth and tossing him onto her back. Lion-O grabbed Lynx-O,
Chanur grabbed Kam, and Fianna took custody of Peachyra. Tygris was already
disappearing into the night and everyone else was quick to follow her lead.
And flying high above Riveroland Castle, a dark bird cocked its head and
said quite clearly, "Nevermore."
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TBC