"You don't happen to have an air freshener, do you?" he asked the author
walking beside him.

"Sorry. Tatiana didn't provide one," Peachyra replied. She was also having
problems keeping breakfast down in the face of such a smell and was
seriously beginning to regret taking this way out of the dungeons. "She only
told me how to summon the mummy, not how to deodorize him."

"I think I was better off back in the prison with Thunderwolf," Lion-O
murmured. "So where is he taking us?"

"Somewhere safe," came the cryptic reply. Lion-O knew authors well enough
to not pursue that line of questioning any further. Peachyra had no clue
where Imhotep was taking them.

Several hours and vomit sessions later, Imhotep paused and placed his
mutilated hands upon a wall. A faint humming sound could be heard that
quickly escalated into a minor earthquake. Chunks of dirt rained down upon
Lion-O and Peachyra who quickly backed away. And then a shaft of sunlight
poured into the dreary underground. Imhotep narrowed his eyes and stepped
back, gesturing something at Peachyra. She nodded and turned to Lion-O.

"This is as far as he's willing to take us. Tatiana has commanded him to
return to her side."

"What's she going to do with him?!"

Peachyra frowned as she thought the question over. "I don't know, and I
don't want to know. But I know she thinks he's cute."

Lion-O's eyebrows shot up and he examined the corpse a little more closely.
"I see. Well, undeads attract, I guess."

"Whatever. Come on, let's get out of here."

The sun was a welcome change from the murky underground tunnel system. Once
his eyes had adjusted to the light, Lion-O took a good look around. The
desert still hovered as an ominous presence in the distance, but there was
now a small breeze in the air that carried with it a cooling balm. The
lion's sensitive nose could also pick up a slightly salty flavor.

"This way," Peachyra instructed. "We can catch a boat back to Cat's Lair."

The two set off together, their weariness falling away as the smell of salt
and water grew stronger. Several minutes later they were standing on a
sandy knoll overlooking the coastline.

"Now that's a beautiful sight," Lion-O sighed.

"But our journey isn't over yet," Peachyra reminded him. "It's still a long
way back to Cat's Lair."

"Still, I owe you a great debt of gratitude," Lion-O continued, turning to
the author. "Without you, I would still be locked in that prison. I am
Lion-O, current Lord of the Thundercats."

"I already knew that, flame head."

"Oh." His ego temporarily deflated, the lion cast about for something else
to say. "Well, what do we do now?"

"We meet up with Kamanchee. He--whoa!"

Without warning, Lion-O launched himself at the author and the two went
tumbling toward the beach. With a well-placed elbow to the head, Peachyra
was able to loosen Lion-O's hold and extricate herself from the impromptu
wrestling match.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"But you wanted me to do that. Didn't you? Didn't you just say 'Come at
me'?"

"No, I did not say 'Come at me.' I said KAMANCHEE."

"Oh. Sorry. Is that a friend of yours?"

"You could call him that. Look, for the sake of simplicity and to avoid
anything else like what you just did, let's call him Adam Ant."

"I AM NOT ADAM ANT!!!"

Lion-O and Peachyra involuntarily ducked as the voice boomed across the
ocean. "What was that?" Lion-O whispered.

"Kaman..let's call him Kam. Sometimes he's a little touchy."

The lion nodded. He could name a few other authors who were also touchy.
"Alright then. Let's go find Kam. And we will find him. I vow it on the
sacred word of Thundera. I give you my undying pledge. My solemn oath on my
father's honor. On the blood of my heart. On the word of my soul. On--"

"Will you shut up?" Peachyra demanded. "Okay, I don't see a port, so we're
going to have to swim for it."

"Swim for it?! You're crazy."

"You finally noticed?" Peachyra flashed him a winsome smile and started
toward the water. "Come on. Last one across gets killed off in the next
chapter!"

"WHAT???"

* * * *

"Is all in readiness?"

"Of course. Lion-O and Peachyra are falling into our trap perfectly."

"See that things continue to go perfectly, or I may have to renege on our
deal. And you know that in an environment such as this, you are powerless to
fight me."

"Your will shall prevail. Have no fear of that. All I ask is that when all
is said and done, Lion-O is mine to do with as I please."

"If you continue to play your part well, he shall be yours. If not, then
you, like the rest of them, will be mine."

* * * *

Two panting, heaving, gasping individuals eventually washed up on the shore.
Peachyra groaned and rolled over as she felt the sandy mud beneath her
clutching hands. "Land," she wheezed.

"Home," Lion-O coughed. "Home. Cat's Lair!"

The author opened one eye and glanced at the lion. "Cat's Lair is several
miles away, you idiot."

"Oh."

"And we've still got to meet up with Kam. He knows the area and he'll be
able to tell us what's going on. Besides, he's not the best at defending
himself and he might be in trouble."

"Right," Lion-O sighed. "Okay, then. Let's go find Kam."

The two wet, bedraggled, exhausted souls struggled to their feet and began
trudging across the beach. Lion-O started scrutinizing the cliff faces as
they walked, searching for the best place to begin ascending. And he
quickly stopped.

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

Lion-O stared at the cliffs that now towered almost directly over them. "I..I
thought I saw movement."

Peachyra glanced up and shrugged, dismissing the lion's concerns with casual
indifference. "Probably your imagination. Come on. Give me a boost up here."

Lion-O obliged by cupping his hands and holding her foot while the author
began to climb, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they were being
observed. Even as he began scaling the cliffs after Peachyra, his eyes never
ceased their constant vigilance for more movement. But the climb was
disappointingly anticlimactic and when Lion-O reached the top, he'd seen no
sign of his mysterious watcher. But the feeling of being watched persisted
still.

* * * *

It was after they reached the forest that they caught the first sounds of
battle. Normally, Lion-O tried to avoid potential trouble when involved in a
work of fiction. Experience had taught him that fights were a convenient way
to knock off characters and the lion had the gravemarkers to prove it. But
something about the fight seemed to be drawing Peachyra and much to his
surprise, Lion-O found himself following her.

"I am definitely in a story," he grumbled to himself, ducking under a low
branch.

"Quit stalling and hurry up!" Peachyra ordered. "Somewhere around here is
where we're supposed to meet Kam. That fighting could be him!"

Peachyra turned out to be right. In a small clearing, the two travelers
came across a rather unusual sight. An obviously British man was being
pummeled by several characters out of different works of fiction. Lion-O
immediately recognized Greeb, Cue, Leela, Symon, and Kestile from the
authors Thundera Tiger, RD, Lady Thundera, Ayanna, and Fianna. None of
those authors had appeared in this fic yet, but the presence of their
characters meant they probably weren't far away.

"Why can't I ever sit down to a breakfast at Cat's Lair without getting
pulled into some stupid satire," Lion-O groused.

"KAMANCHEE!!!" Peachyra shrieked.

Instantly Greeb, Cue, Leela, Symon, and Kestile were launching themselves at
Peachyra, responding to the command 'Come at me.' The author had just enough
time to realize she had committed a rather serious faux pas and then she was
buried under a pile of fanfic characters.

"So you're Kam," Lion-O decided, ignoring Peachyra for the moment and
concentrating on this new individual with a strange accent. "I don't see why
we needed to meet up with you. I can find my own way back to Cat's Lair from
here."

"A pleasure to meet you, too," Kam spat, pushing himself off the ground and
briskly dusting himself off. "And I take it you're the nominal Lord of the
Thundercats."

"NOMINAL? I'll have you know that--"

"A little help here, please?" Peachyra called from a mob of fanfic
characters.

"Oh, sure," Lion-O yelled back. "What do you want us to do?"

"Just watch my back."

Kam and Lion-O obediently watched as Symon, the traitorous lion from Thicker
Than Blood landed a pair of devastating kidney punches and succeeded in
knocking Peachyra to the ground.

"Your back just got hit twice," Kam announced helpfully.

"Thank you," Peachyra growled.

"Yahoo!!!"

A sudden streak of golden fur and black spots flashed across the ground,
barreled into Lion-O, changed directions, and rammed its way through the
five fanfic characters, neatly knocking each one to the ground in a
surprised heap. Skidding to a halt and stopping briefly for breath, a
rather hyper cheetah sat back on her haunches and surveyed the clearing.
"Wow. That was fun."

"I told you to leave some for me!" a voice growled from the underbrush.

"Well if you were faster then maybe--"

"The glory of the hunt is the ambush. If you give your prey some warning and
then chase them, they prepare for death. It takes all the fun out of the
kill."

"But we didn't kill!" the cheetah protested to the bushes where her friend
remained hidden. "And besides, I'm fast enough that it may as well be an
ambush."

"Oh, have it your way." A bengal tiger's head poked out from behind a thick
shrub and eyed the combatants. "But they're getting up again, Ayanna."

Ayanna glanced at the characters and flicked her tail restlessly. "Maybe.
I'll let you take care of them this time, Tiger. I'll run on ahead to tell
Sher Kahn that we're on our way. Catch ya later." And in a flurry of motion,
the hyper cheetah had raced out of the clearing.

Thundera Tiger grunted something under her breath and slinked over toward
Peachyra, offering her a shoulder as a means of hauling herself off the
ground. "I wondered when you would show up."

"Well this is your story. If you'd provided us with a boat, we could have
been here several days ago," Peachyra shot back. Thundera Tiger grinned,
shrugged, and pushed the author back to the ground with a flick of one
massive forepaw.

"Excuse me?" Lion-O called. "I hate to interrupt, but in case you haven't
noticed, the characters are back and they're starting to circle us."

Kam had been doing a headcount and realized that his team was outnumbered by
one player. "Hey Tiger? Was Ayanna going to come back and help us out?"

Thundera Tiger shook her head. "She's trying to rally Team Tiger and find
everybody else. It's taking too long to integrate people into this story.
Something's going on and I'd feel much better if we were all together." The
tiger suddenly stopped and narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute. Kam, aren't
you supposed to be on the side of--"

The author was not allowed to finish her question because the characters
chose that moment to attack. Without the Sword of Omens, Lion-O was down
quickly. Already exhausted from his previous battle, Kamanchee put up only
token resistance and was soon on the run. Peachyra was trying her luck with
flying elbows and feet, but such tactics were of little use against
characters like Testile, Symon, and Greeb. And so Thundera Tiger decided to
become the ultimate Mary Sue and use this moment to drive home the
ramifications of annoying a tiger.

With a roar that shook the forest, the tiger was off. She lacked the speed
of a cheetah, but she made up for it with brute strength and lightning
reflexes. It seemed she was in several places at once. Slash, biting,
charging, snarling, Thundera Tiger carved a swath of destruction through the
fanfic characters. Symon went down first with a broken neck. The panther
Testile required a little more attention but a well-timed leap onto a tree
trunk off again landed the tiger on his back and enabled her to sink her
long canines into the back of his neck. And then she was off, not even
bothering to watch as Testile sank to the ground and gasped for breath as
blood flooded his lungs. Greeb was bowled over when Thundera Tiger charged
into his feet and knocked the top-heavy slave driver to the ground. Once
down, he was at her mercy and sharp claws soon opened his throat. About
this time, Leela and Cue decided to make a hasty exit. Thundera Tiger
paused and wondered if she should pursue them, but ultimately decided
against it. Let this be a lesson to all who tormented tigers. These
characters would be instrumental in passing her warning along.

"Was all that really necessary?"

The author turned and glared at Lion-O. She then glanced at the clearing
and realized it had become a little gory. "No one ever said this story was
rated G," Thundera Tiger explained.

"You haven't seen the last of us!" Leela's voice screamed at them from
several miles away. Rolling her eyes, Thundera Tiger turned and let loose a
challenging roar so powerful that it nearly succeeded in knocking the leaves
from the trees and starting autumn prematurely. "You've seen the last of
us," Leela called back after a significant pause.

"Okay, where were we?" Thundera Tiger murmured. "Oh yes. Kam, aren't you.."
She trailed off. Whatever it was she had been asking was now gone. And she
had the strangest feeling that it had been of some importance that her
question be answered.

"Aren't I what?" Kam prompted.

The tiger shook her head, but answers were not coming. "Sorry. I'll think of
it later."

"Well, now that that's settled, on to Cat's Lair!" Lion-O ordered.

But as they began walking, Lion-O felt that once again, they were being
watched. Thundera Tiger shared his feeling. But neither lion nor tiger
could validate their fears. And so they merely continued, always alert but
never successful.
__________________________
TBC

Robin Hood 3