"You know how much I hate that lion. How could you possibly let him
escape?!" Thunderwolf struck out at Shark again, but the fish slid through
the water like a knife and was easily out of range before the irate lion's
fist could connect.

Shark had completely lost track of time since taking to the ocean. He
remembered all too well his mad dash from the prison across the desert to
the safety of the water with Thunderwolf on his tail every step of the way.
Once in his environment, Shark had tried reasoning with his lover but the
lion was just too infuriated to listen. Still, with land no where in sight,
what else did Shark have to do? He couldn't leave Thunderwolf here and he
couldn't help him back as long as the lion kept trying to beat him to a
pulp.

"You can't possibly believe that I meant to let him escape!" Shark tried,
diving beneath the water and resurfacing several yards away. "There are
other powers at work here, TW, and we just don't know enough about them."

"I know enough to know that if you hadn't turned your back on them
then--ARGH!"

Much to Shark's surprise, Thunderwolf didn't swing at him again but abruptly
sunk, bobbed back to the surface, screamed any number of creative oaths, and
curled into a tight ball. Cautiously and curiously, the Icthyoid moved
himself closer to the lion.
"Thunderwolf?"

"Cramp," the lion gasped, grabbing at his leg in a vain attempt to stop the
pain that was rapidly crippling him.

"Let me," Shark offered, slipping underwater again and positioning himself
beneath the lion. His hands quickly found the source of the cramp and he
began an expert massage on Thunderwolf's left calf muscle. Gradually, the
lion relaxed above him and Shark drifted upward, deliberately surfacing in
between Thunderwolf's slowly moving arms. "Better?"

The lion sighed. "Much. Sorry, Shark, I guess I lost it back there."

"You had a lot of aggressive energy," Shark sympathized. "Since you didn't
get to take it out on Lion-O, you turned it on me. Don't worry about it."

"Right." A flicker of guilt flashed across Thunderwolf's face, but he hid it
quickly. "So what now?"

"Now we find land. You're a powerful warrior, but you won't last much longer
out here in the water, love."

"Hmmm. How much longer will I last?"

There was now a new emotion flickering across the lion's face and Shark felt
his spine tingle. But they were still out in the middle of the ocean and it
was probably not the best idea they'd had that day. "Not long enough for
that," Shark answered, wrapping an arm around his companion. "Let's figure
out where we are and where land is first. After that, we'll think about it."

Thunderwolf chuckled and together they struck out through the clear blue
waters.

* * * *

Riveroland Castle, also doubling as the Anti-Tygra Base in this strange
medieval world, stood on a grassy bluff overlooking the city of Riveroland.
Not that there was much to overlook. The small town was a collection of
falling buildings, crumbling stone ruins, and abandoned homes. A few
ghostlike shades wandered the empty streets, but they were only shadows of
what had once been a prospering village. Their sunken eyes and hollowed
cheeks told of countless horrors. They were as lifeless as their city,
living for nothing but the will of the master who lived in the castle above.

"We're using slaves stolen from Kentro for atmosphere?" Lady Thundera
demanded, kicking at a rock as she traveled down the dusty road that passed
for the main street in the city of Riveroland. "Of all the shameless plugs,
this is one of the most blatant. Especially since I'm sitting here talking
about. Give TWSE a rest!" The author folded her arms and tapped her foot
slightly until she realized something else. "I'm in. I made it into the
story. When did this happen?!"

"I don't know, but I'm here, too," a voice spoke up behind her. Lady
Thundera turned around and came face to face with a female Thunderian white
tiger. Benni grinned. "So who do you suppose we are?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm the Lady Thundera," Lady Thundera stated
obstinately. "And I want to know what the purpose is of having a rundown
city at the base of Riveroland Castle. There's no one here. No one worth
anything, anyway."

Benni shrugged and looked around. The ruined city was a stark contrast to
the fortress on the bluff. Rising high into the night sky, the battlements
glistened with arms and defenses. Backlit by the moon, it made for an
impressive sight. A single entrance guarded by a heavy door and portcullis
issued the invitation to stay away. Countless characters from countless
works of fiction patrolled the castle's turrets, and night watches were
called out every few minutes as guards checked in, traded stations, and
announced the results of their patrols.

"Well, from TT's comments, this story isn't going exactly as she originally
planned," Benni reminded Lady Thundera. "And based on the fact that we can
analyze the story this much and get away with it means…" The tiger trailed
off as she tried to decide exactly what that meant. "Never mind. I was going
somewhere with that, but I lost it."

"I just hope Fianna makes it into the story," Lady Thundera growled. "I have
a score to settle with that nincompoop."

"Along with everyone else," Benni laughed. "So what now?"

"I'm going to find RD," Lady Thundera decided at length. "Maybe he knows
what's going on. Maybe with this story out of TT's control we can get some
retribution."

"I'll tag along," Benni announced, her cat's eyes gleaming in the moonlight.
"To tell the truth, this town is kind of creepy and I want to check out that
castle. Think you could get RD to give me a tour?"

Lady Thundera murmured something that couldn't be taken one way or another
and started walking up the bluff. Benni followed quickly and tried to
interpret Lady Thundera's mood. It was an odd one, to say the least. She
seemed intent on finding RD Rivero, she was upset with the town below, but
she was excited that the Robin Hood story was not unfolding as Thundera
Tiger wished. This combination made for a rather testy, anxious, upset, and
eager author. Benni decided to stick close to Lady Thundera just to see how
she would interact with others.

"Nevermore."

The two jumped in surprise and due to the steep grade of the bluff, ended up
rolling back down. Coming to a halt at the edge of the slave town, Lady
Thundera put a hand to her throbbing head and looked around for what was
about to become the latest victim of her wrath.

"Nevermore."

"Look," Benni hissed, pointing to the rooftop of one of the crumpled
buildings.

Perched on the top of desolation, a raven cocked its head at them.
Moonlight flashed across one blank eye and the bird ruffled its feathers,
opening its beak slightly and shaking its head. "Nevermore," it repeated.

"A raven," Lady Thundera whispered reverently. Cautiously, she rose to her
feet and extended her hand. "Come on. Come down. I won't hurt you."

The bird looked at her dubiously but extended its wings and glided down
nonetheless. Benni watched suspiciously. She had the strangest feeling that
this bird was much more than a simple talking raven, if a talking raven
could be said to be simple.

"This means I must make a wish," Lady Thundera announced, breaking into
Benni's thinking. "I hope against hope, I wish against wish, that the
heavens bring me a green nincompoop that I may repeat the chicken nugget
trick."

"The what?"

"Long story," Lady Thundera explained to Benni.

"Ah. But probably an evil one."

Lady Thundera stammered for a minute before turning away. "I'm not evil.
I'm good!"

"Nevermore," the raven chirped up as if on cue.

"Stupid bird," Lady Thundera growled, seizing it by its feet and throwing it
at the ground. The raven recovered just in time and managed to fly upwards
before its head met with a rather unpleasant fate. From the safety of the
sky, the bird whistled merrily and shouted "Nevermore" just for good
measure.

"There have to be crossbows in this story," Lady Thundera grumbled, looking
around for something with which she could attack the bird.
Unfortunately for her, the raven attacked first and Lady Thundera suddenly
found herself covered in…

"That's disgusting!" Benni shrieked. "Yuck, go find something to wipe that
stuff off. How did one raven get so much out in one push? That's bigger
than the bird itself. It's all over everything! That's…that's just
disgusting!!!"

Trying to ignore her companion's ranting, Lady Thundera resumed her climb up
the bluff and prayed that RD Rivero would have something that would get bird
droppings out of her hair.

* * * *

"RD, I must speak with you!"

RD Rivero looked up from his collection of Tygra skins and weapons of
torture. "Excuse me?"

"It's important."

The master of all evil sighed and gave his iron maiden one final polish with
his dust rag. "Later," he promised the painful device. Trying to summon an
iota of patience, RD turned and gave his partial attention to LD. "Okay,
what's going on."

"I have news."

"What kind of news?" RD pressed, growing tired of dragging everything from
LD's scattered mind. A dangerous thought occurred to the master of evil.
"Wait, it's not bad news, is it? You know I can't take bad news. The day
started out so well. I even had a good night's sleep. I don't want to hear
any bad news." He gave LD a stern look that was capable of giving even
Thunderwolf second thoughts. "Now, what sort of news is it?"

"Well, to be perfectly frank, it's bad," LD confessed.

"I knew it!" RD exploded, slamming his fist down on a rack and overturning a
stand of whips. "I knew it was bad news." The evil author began pacing.
"Okay, let's try this. Maybe if you tell me the bad news in a good way, it
won't sound so bad."

"The bad news in a good way?" LD repeated. The idea was insane enough to
appeal to his deranged mind, and he immediately took up the challenge. "I
can do that," the teenager promised. He composed himself, placed a large
grin on his face, and began laughing uncontrollably. "Wait…just wait 'til
you hear this!" he cackled. RD stared at LD, wondering if this was an
improvement, but it was too late now. The teen was on a roll. "I just ran
into part of Team Tiger, they're gathering together where Cat's Lair used to
be." LD doubled over, trying to control his heaving sides. "Tiger and Ayanna
just completely humiliated me in front of everyone. They hate you and they
want to see you embalmed!" LD staggered over to a wall and leaned against
it, trying to keep himself off the bloody floor. "You're…you're in an awful
lot of trouble!" Losing the battle to control himself, LD toppled over
laughing hysterically.

"What are you crazy?!" RD demanded. "This is terrible news! Why are you
laughing? I already have a group out there who wants to embalm me and now
Team Tiger has taken up with them."

"Well, actually I made up the embalming part," LD admitted, still giggling.
"I just wanted to see your reaction. I don't know what Team Tiger really
wants to do."

"One of these days, you're going to regret crossing me," RD promised with an
imperious sweep of his arm to indicate the torture room in which they stood.
LD simply broke into more peals of laughter. Giving up hope on him, RD
resumed his pacing. "What to do, what to do," he murmured. "Wait. Spark
and Tatiana!"

"The speakers for Imhotep?" LD questioned, regaining enough composure to
pose an intelligible question. "Boy is he ugly!"

"Don't let them hear you say that," RD warned with a quick glance around.
"They'll try to embalm you, too."

LD shrugged and started laughing again. RD watched him for a few minutes
with a mixture of disgust and pity before leaving the room and locking the
lunatic inside.

* * * *

Hidden in the twisting dungeons of Riveroland Castle was a secret chamber of
horrors. Artifacts gleaned from a world long past cluttered the shelves and
tables. Fading scrolls coated in dust littered the floor. In the middle of
the room lay a sarcophagus not unlike Mumm-Ra's own resting place. And
perched on top the coffin, an Aztec princess watched a pacing sorceress.

"There has to be a way to do it," Tatiana insisted, ignoring Spark's looks
of exasperation. "I'm telling you, there has to be a way."

"What haven't you tried?" Spark asked. "Admit it, you're out of ideas. We
don't have the Book of the Dead, we don't have the chest, we don't know the
incantations, and we don't have anyone stupid enough to give up their life
force to Imhotep." Seeing Tatiana's look, Spark reevaluated her comments.
"Okay, so we have plenty of people stupid enough to do that, but that still
doesn't change the basic facts. We don't have the book and we need it."

"We could watch the movies again," Tatiana suggested. "We can say what they
way."

"We've already tried that," Spark shot back. "We need the book. If we could
convince TT to write the Book of the Dead and the chest into this story,
then maybe we could get someone to open the chest and Imhotep could become
his handsome self again, but until that happens, we're out of luck."

"But I don't want to run around with a decrepit mummy for the rest of the
story!" Tatiana practically screamed.

"What do you think Mumm-Ra was to the Thundercats?"

"Yeah, but at least he could change into Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living."

Someone hesitantly cleared his voice in the doorway and Tatiana and Spark
both swung around to glare at the intruder.

"Excuse me, but I have a favor to ask," RD began.

"We're busy," Tatiana hissed. "Come back when you have the Book of the
Dead."

RD sighed and rubbed his temples. "If Imhotep is meant to be fully
regenerated, he will be. If not, then there's not much you can do about it."
Personally, RD was grateful that the mummy still appeared to be drenched in
entrails. Tatiana didn't go on so much about how handsome the creature was.
"So, where is the Egyptian anyway?"

There was a moment of tense silence during which Spark and Tatiana exchanged
unreadable glances. "We don't know," Tatiana eventually said.

"You don't know? Let me get this straight. We allow you to have Imhotep in a
story, we practically gift wrap him for you on top of his own wrappings, and
you lose him?!"

"He just disappeared. He said something about Peachyra in a dungeon and we
haven't seen him since," Spark elucidated.

"Peachyra?" RD's face became concerned. "But isn't she neutral? She's not
supposed to be on our team or TT's team. Why does she need Imhotep?"

"Search me," Tatiana said with a shrug. "But Imhotep hasn't come back. I
tried to summon him, but it was like I was blocked."

"Great." RD rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Well, maybe you two can help. I
need to know what Thundera Tiger is up to and if all this is really her
doing of if she's telling the truth when she keeps complaining about missing
characters."

Spark tilted her head toward Tatiana who gave RD another shrug. "I'll give
it a try." She found a plate and began searching the messy shelves for
needed ingredients. "Raven's egg, blood of a hen…"

"Put in more blood," Spark suggested.

"Eyeballs of a crocodile," Tatiana continued after following Spark's
instructions. "Testicles of a newt…"

"They're definitely bigger than Tygra's," RD snickered.

Tatiana and Spark looked around for signs of repercussions, but nothing
happened. "That answers that question," Spark whispered.

"Yup. Thundera Tiger is definitely not in charge of this story," Tatiana
agreed.

RD stared at the two and then realized what he'd just said. "You're right.
Wow. But if she's not in charge…" He trailed off.

"Then who is?" Tatiana finished his thought for him.

"And what do they want?" Spark added with a glance around the room.

There was yet another tense silence. Tatiana finally broke it. "I want
Imhotep," she whispered.
_________________________
TBC

Robin Hood 5