[Shark sits on a rock by the serene ocean, reading over a printout of Fianna's
"For Shark" riff story. As soon as he finishes, Shark lets out a superficial
laugh before crumpling the story into a ball, which he stuffs into his mouth,
chews up and swallows, all in one fluid motion.]

SHARK: Sebastian, can you come here for a moment?

[At his call, Shark's former NTRPG character, Sebastian, the demon child,
appears in a puff of smoke.]

SEBASTIAN: Yeah boss?

SHARK: I need your opinion on something, Sebastian. You read Fianna's "For
Shark" riff, right?

[Sebastian smirks]

SEBASTIAN: Let me guess; you want a little payback advice.

SHARK: You read my mind.

SEBASTIAN: Heh heh heh! But of course! Now might I suggest shaving him bald
and hanging him from a tree by his testicles? He'd make for a great piñata.
Or how about putting him through a sex change sans the anesthetics? That's
always an evil thing to do.

SHARK: You've definitely been hanging around Grune and my boyfriend too much.

SEBASTIAN: You make it sound like it's a bad thing. They're my idols; I think
they make great role models!

[Shark smiles and then ponders the suggestions for a brief moment.]

SHARK: Nah the violent revenge angle has already been done. I need something
original...I want him humiliated without actually hurting him physically.

SEBASTIAN: Hmm you got me there, boss.

[Shark brainstorms for a few more minutes]

SHARK: I think I may have an idea. Sebastian, can you make one of those fancy
astral laptops for me?

SEBASTIAN: Sure, boss.

[Sebastian snaps his fingers and a ghostly semitransparent laptop materializes
on the rock beside Shark. Shark then takes the laptop and sets to work,
searching through its database.]

SEBASTIAN: What do you have in mind?

SHARK: A while back I was working on a weird story starring Pumyra and Tygra,
but never got around to finishing it. I think it'll make the perfect tool to
repay Fianna for that riff. All I have to do is tell the word processor to
replace all instances of "Tygra" with "Fianna", and then change the plot around
a bit to fit that character exchange.

[Sebastian snickers]

SEBASTIAN: Well, you've certainly caught my interest. What's the story about
anyway?

SHARK: Patience, my little fiendish friend. You'll see. Now, before we get
started, all I need are two more key elements.

SEBASTIAN: Right away, boss.

[Sebastian claps his hands together twice, and then Fianna and his poodle
magically appear out of thin air. The two dogs look around, completely dazed
and confused.]

FIANNA: What in the...? The beach? How did we get here?

[Fianna then notices Shark and Sebastian, both of whom are grinning devilishly
at him.]

FIANNA: Oh no! Not again!

[Panicked, Fianna turns around to run away, when Shark suddenly pulls out a
remote and points it at him. With the press of a button, the caninoid is
instantly transported into his role in Shark's first riff-revenge story.]

POODLE: Grrr...

[The poodle, enraged at what had just happened to her husband, makes a flying
leap at Shark and Sebastian, teeth bared, ready to tear them both to pieces.]

SEBASTIAN: Oh no you don't, you mangy mongrel!

[Acting quickly, Sebastian creates a snowball in his hand and lobs it at the
attacking canine. The magical snowball hits the poodle directly in the face
and explodes, engulfing her in a shower of frost. At once, the poodle drops
out of the air into the sand, frozen solid.]

SHARK: Thank you, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN: The pleasure was all mine, boss.

[With that, Shark calmly points the remote at the solidified poodle and zaps
her into his story as well. Shark then returns to his laptop to exact his
revenge, with Sebastian eagerly watching over his shoulder.]

--------------------------------------------------
Title: A Short-Short Riff For Fianna
Boy did you have this one coming... ::Evil grin::

PART 1

Pumyra, clad in her favorite cherry-red nightgown, entered into the large,
lavish bedroom of her house. She had just wed the man of her dreams - a 7-foot
muscular canine stud named Fianna. A year ago, Pumyra had fallen head over
heels as soon as she laid eyes on him at the ThunderCats' annual banquet - a
textbook case of love at first sight. Pumyra supposed that it was his unusual
yet enticing green fur, a very rare trait amongst Fianna's race, that first
took her in Or maybe it was due to the simple fact that she harbored a secret
fetish for men with rippling muscles.

Whatever the case was, she and Fianna made acquaintances very quickly, reaching
Home Plate on their first date Before she knew it, the green caninoid had
popped the question, and just like that, they were husband and wife. Pumyra
had never felt so happy in all her life.
--------------------------------------------------

SEBASTIAN: Oh come on! What kind of a riff is this? I thought you wanted to
get back at Fianna. Why in the world are you making this out to be such a
flattery story?

SHARK: Don't get your astral underwear in a bunch, Sebastian. It only gets
worse for the green nincompoop from here on in.

[Shark winks mischievously as he resumes typing]

SEBASTIAN: I really do hope so. It couldn't have started out any mushier.
Yuck!

--------------------------------------------------
Pumyra looked over at the king-sized bed and smiled. She saw her big lug of a
husband lying there; the soft, lavender sheets were pulled up over his
green-furred body. He turned his head and put on a goofy grin that Pumyra had
grown quite accustomed to; it meant that he was ready and raring to jump her
bones.

The puma, with a sexy bounce in her step, ever so delicately walked toward the
bed and sat next to her husband, purring as she rubbed his fuzzy muzzle
affectionately.

The caninoid's grin became even wider, and thus, more idiotic, and Pumyra
suddenly found herself choking back a gag. It was one of the few things that
she detested about Fianna, but she learned to put up with it nonetheless.

"Oh boy!" Fianna said cheerfully, "We're gonna get kinky tonight, baby!"

*Kinky?* Pumyra thought, a confused look crossing her features. She had never
heard him say *that* before...

All of a sudden, Fianna puckered his lips and whistled loudly, and at once,
their pet poodle bounded into the room, her long tongue lolling out the side of
her mouth, dripping a trail of saliva across the floor.

Pumyra rolled her eyes. She absolutely hated that dog and didn't know why she
had let Fianna convince her to buy it for him. The poodle sported the most
hideous haircut this side of New Thundera...and on top of that, she wasn't good
for anything except eating them out of house and home, slumbering in just the
right places so you'd trip over her while carrying a priceless vas, and
relieving herself on the expensive living room rugs.

"And just what is that mangy mutt doing in here?" Pumyra asked, feeling the
romantic atmosphere taking a drastic decline.

"Can't you see, Honey-Pumpkin?" Fianna explained innocently, "I want her to
watch us."

Pumyra shook her head in disbelief, "*Watch* us?"

"Of course, my cutesy little Pummy," Fianna responded, batting his eyes,
"She's growing up to be a big doggy now...won't be long before she meets the
male dogs of the neighborhood and has puppies! I want her to know the proper
ways of Kama Sutra!"

Pumyra couldn't help but shudder at the thought of that hideous
good-for-nothing dog actually breeding.

"Fianna, there is no way in the Seven Hells that I'm going to let that mutt sit
in here and piss or shit on the floor while we make love!" She growled,
determined to put her foot down on the subject, "Somehow I just don't find the
idea all too erotic!"

Fianna frowned, "Not so loud! She'll hear you and her feelings will be hurt!"

"Oh, for the love of..." Then Pumyra just decided to drop the subject, knowing
that it was pointless to argue with her caninoid lover once he was set in his
ways. Besides, she was horny and needed a little nookie before bedtime, "Oh
all right, but if she ruins this carpet I'll have your balls!"

"Ooohhh! Sounds enticing!" Fianna panted.

Pumyra just rolled her eyes, sensing that things were going downhill fast. If
she wanted any before her sexual appetite went away, she had to make her move.
Quickly she pulled off her nightgown, leaving her clad in nothing but her
panties, then rolled over and started feeling up Fianna. However, as her hand
reached his groin, she was surprised as her fingers caressed his rock-hard
member through a very familiar fabric.

*Silk?*

With a suspicious look in her eyes, she sat up and yanked the sheets off
Fianna. Pumyra's eyes went wide as she saw that Fianna had on one of her bras
and a pair of her pink silken panties with the image of a unicorn emblazoned on
the crotch.

Fianna just looked up at her and gave another goofy grin, "Kinky, yes?"

Pumyra withdrew in shock, "NO!"

"What's the matter?" The canine asked, confused.

"Fianna, just what in the world are you doing wearing my lingerie?!" The puma
demanded.

"Pummy-Pumpkin," Fianna began to explain in a matter-of-factly tone, "I'll
admit, I'm somewhat of a transvestite. I love wearing women's clothing from
time to time. Makes me feel all cute and girlish."

Fianna then let out a very feminine giggle that made Pumyra shrink away from
him even further.

"What? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

The caninoid rolled his eyes, still grinning, "I wanted it to be a surprise. I
thought you'd be turned on by it."

"Some surprise!" Pumyra huffed, "And no, I'm not turned on by it at all! You
look ridiculous!"

At that moment, the poodle padded to Fianna's side of the bed, staring up at
her master blankly. Her tongue was still hanging out of her mouth, with
rivulets of drool forming a puddle on the floor.

"See? At least *she* likes it," Fianna said as he reached down to pat the
poodle's head.

"For the love of..." Pumyra threw her arms up in exasperation and then donned
her nightgown again.

The canine looked over at her, "What are you doing? We still have to make mad
love!"

"You have officially turned me off for the night. I am going to bed, Mr.
Sissy."

"Fine, have it your way," Fianna sniffed, "Just one request though."

Pumyra rolled her eyes yet again, "What?"

"Can...Can I at least keep these on while I sleep?"

"Dammit, you can *have* them for all I care," Pumyra moaned, now in a very
grouchy mood, "Goodnight!"

"Must be that time of the month," Fianna whispered under his breath as he
reached to turn out the light He then curled up into bed, indulging himself in
the feel of Pumyra's lingerie against his fur. It made him so giddy he could
barely contain himself...
--------------------------------------------------

[Sebastian suddenly lets loose with uproarious laughter]

SEBASTIAN: Turning Fianna into a sissy-boy, and that damn poodle into a
retarded mutt...oh, this is rich!

SHARK: And the best is yet to come!

--------------------------------------------------
PART 2

"EEEEKKKK!!"

Pumyra shot up in bed as the sound of a girl's screams filled her ears.
Instinctively she reached for the nightstand beside her and retrieved her
sling, along with a handful of marbles. Her first thought was that their
neighbor, a lioness in her late teens, was perhaps being robbed or raped.
However, the scream was repeated, only this time Pumyra noticed that it was
coming from within the room...in fact, the one screaming was right beside her
in bed!

"EEEEKKKK!!" Fianna kept hollering girlishly, "EEEEKKKK!!"

"What is it, Fianna? What's wrong?" Pumyra asked with a mixture of concern
and annoyance.

Fianna pointed a shaky finger at the sliding glass door on the other side of
the bedroom.

"Th...There!" He stuttered, his eyes wide with fright.

Pumyra looked toward the door, "Where? I don't see anything."

"You don't see them? You don't see the bandits out there, staring in? They're
gonna break in, Pumyra! They're gonna break in and kill us!" Fianna then
darted under the sheets, quivering, "Save me! Save me!"

"Calm down!" Pumyra demanded as she took a closer look across the room at the
door. This time, she did see something - a few shadows moving around
outside..but it was hard to tell what they were.

In any case, she decided to check.

"Fianna," She whispered, "Fianna, the laser blaster is in the dresser on your
side of the bed. Hand it to me!"

"I...I can't, Pummy!" Fianna cried.

"Why?!" The puma growled.

"Because I'm PETRIFIED!!!" Fianna then proceeded with his girly screams again.

"Shit..." Pumyra said, not believing the most pathetic sight before her. Here
was this hunky, muscular caninoid, wearing her lingerie and cowering under the
covers like a frightened puppy.

"Pumyra," Fianna whimpered, "Pumyra...I think I'm gonna pee in the bed!"

Pumyra ground her teeth, "Don't you *dare* piss in this bed, Fianna! You hear
me?!"

On the floor next to the bed, Pumyra noticed the poodle, shivering as hard as
Fianna was, a puddle of urine slowly spreading around her. At once Pumyra knew
why her husband had found it so easy to bond with that dog; the poodle was just
like him!

"All right," Pumyra finally said, "Stay here, Fianna. I'm gonna check it out."

The caninoid didn't respond - he was now completely frozen in terror.

"Oh boy," Pumyra sighed as she climbed out of bed, "And this is the man I
dumped Tygra for..."

Like a commando, she slowly inched her way toward the sliding glass door.
Taking a quick moment to check her ammunition, she realized that she only had
five marbles to work with.

*Five marbles...ok,* Pumyra thought, *I don't know how many there are...so I
can take out at least five of them before reverting to hand-to-hand combat.
That laser blaster would've been nice right about now...*

Pumyra stealthily crept closer and closer to the door. If there were indeed
bandits outside, she wanted to get the drop on them...

..and then suddenly the lights in the room came on.

Pumyra immediately froze in place, knowing that her husband must've been the
one who idiotically switch on the lights. The bandits could probably see her
clearly now and would have a clean shot at her! Pumyra closed her eyes and
waited for the end. But the end didn't come.

Opening her eyes, she looked out the sliding glass door, which was now brightly
illuminated by the bedroom's lights, and saw that Fianna's "bandits" were
nothing more than the shadows cast by the candy fruit trees growing in their
backyard.

Feeling rather stupid, Pumyra turned around and slunk back into bed, placing
her weapon back into the nightstand.

"What happened, Pummy?!" Fianna gasped, "Did you get them?! They're not
inside, are they?! We should call the authorities!"

"No, dummy," Pumyra told him bluntly, "It was just the trees' shadows playing
tricks on your sad, strange little mind. Go to bed."

"Are you sure?" Fianna asked, obviously still scared out of his wits.

"*Go* *to* *BED*!" Pumyra hissed, then turned out the lights and pulled the
comforter over her.

However, she still couldn't get back to sleep as Fianna's trembling was shaking
the entire bed.

*I really should file for a divorce,* Pumyra thought with a grumble.

THE END
--------------------------------------------------

[Both Shark and Sebastian cackle upon completion of the riff]

SEBASTIAN: That'll show 'em.

SHARK: Glad you liked it. I'm sure it'll teach the nincompoop and his mutt
wife to think twice before beating up on my boyfriend or jamming me into a tuna
can again.

[Sebastian gestures toward the laptop]

SEBASTIAN: You gonna let them out now?

[Shark shakes his head]

SHARK: Nope...I think spending another month or so as a transvestite with a
bitchy wife and a retarded dog will help drive the point home.

[Both Shark and Sebastian laugh again]

SEBASTIAN: I love how you think, boss!

SHARK: Why thank you...I *do* have an insane boyfriend who rubs off on me,
after all.

SEBASTIAN: Speaking of whom, he and Grune went out for pizza and beer. Wanna
go join them?

SHARK: I'd be delighted...it would be the perfect end to a perfect day.

[With that, Sebastian teleports himself and Shark away, leaving the laptop,
with Fianna and his poodle still trapped inside to live out their punishment,
laying on the rock amidst the lonely beach.]

(How do you like them apples, Fianna? HAH HAH HAH!)