From One Female to Another: Final Part
May 14, 2001
C. E. Rashidi
(Tatiana)

Back at her house, Tatiana studied the carved markings
on the golden sarcophagus. She ran her fingers over
the delicate drawings and translated them outloud:

Heed this warning –
Anyone who dares
To break this seal
Shall immediately die.
But, if opened,
A power unlike any other
Lies inside and ready
To be commanded.

"Hm, I’ve got to find someone naïve and crazy enough
to open this for me." Tatiana thought to herself. Then
a wicked grin fell onto her face.
**********
The undead sorceress entered the secret code and
opened the entrance to the Anti-Tygra base. She let
herself in and headed to the basement where the asylum
was located. As she passed various members, she
greeted them.

The woman in black walked up to a particular door
where howling and shrieking could be heard. She saw LD
sitting in a corner wrapped in a straight jacket. He
was singing (howling) to one of the padded walls. He
suddenly stopped and glared at the wall. "No, that's
NOT how it goes! Oh yeah, well, I'll teach you!"
LD stood up and backed up. He then ran as fast as he
could into the wall. He fell down with a thud and
stared at the ceiling.

Not willing to see another moment of LD's insane
antics, Tatiana knocked on the door. "Hey, LD! You
want out of there?"

The idea of getting out of his prison was like putting
a helpless, but living, tygra in front of RD. It was
too tempting. "Yes!" he answered and stood up.

"Okay, but if I let you out, you have to promise me
that you'll do one simple thing for me." Tatiana
replied.

"Anything - I'll do anything!"

Pleased with herself, Tatiana unlocked the door and
entered the cell. She untied the straight jacket
allowing LD to shrug it off. "Have you been working
out?"

LD grinned and swished his vinyl cape. He pulled out
his skinny arm and flexed. "As a matter of fact, I
have."

Tatiana waited to see a bulge appear, but nothing
happened. So, in her best fakey sultry voice, she
replied, "Oh my! You ARE a big, strong…man," she
choked out the last word. "You're perfect for the
job."

"Surely even he can handle opening the coffin," she
thought to herself with doubt.

"Let's go before someone realizes you're not in here
anymore." She grabbed his arm and pulled him out of
the anti-tygra base. They managed to get out
undetected and walked together toward her house.
"So, what is it I have to do?" LD inquired.

"You'll see."

"Are we there yet?"

"No, not yet."

The two allies took a few more steps.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there…"

"That's it!" Tatiana screamed out.

LD shrunk back. "If you're going to be mean, I'll just
go home," he sulked.

The undead sorceress took a few cooling breaths and
forced a smile upon her face. "Why don't I just
teleport ourselves to our destination."

"Cool! I've never been teleported before. I've always
wanted to be teleported, but…"

Before LD could finish his statement, Tatiana invoked
the teleportation spell and transported them to her
house.

"…I never got the chance."

Tatiana handed LD a crowbar and pointed to the coffin.
"I need you to open this. Once you've done that, you
can go."

"Okay…hey! Where are you going?"

"I've got unfinished business to settle," she answered
over her shoulder and bounded down the stairs.
**********
Fianna's keen ears alerted him to the sound of heels
clicking on the sidewalk right outside his door. Since
he knew it could not be his beloved poodle, the
nincompoop was uninterested in the visitor. He put a
bottle of liquor to his mouth and chugged down the
last of the alcohol. With a loud burp, Fianna dropped
the bottle and stumbled out of the living area.

Tatiana walked to the front door of the renovated
cathouse. She tried opening the entrance but found it
to be locked. "Fianna! Let me in, so I can kick your
butt!" she yelled out and pounded on the door.

The undead sorceress thought she heard some mumbling
coming from the house. Unable to discern it, she
pounded on the door again. "Come on, you green mutt!
You know I'm going to kick your butt, so you might as
well get it over with."

A small bark came from the house. Tatiana gritted her
teeth and balled her hands into fists. "If I break my
boot, he's really gonna pay," she mumbled to herself.

Taking a few steps back, she jumped into the air and
used her right leg to break the door down. She then
carefully checked her boot to make sure no damage had
been done. Satisfied in its good condition, Tatiana
entered Fianna's house. Alcohol bottles littered the
floor everywhere. Food containers and throw rugs also
littered the main room.

She made her way through the mess and found the green
nincompoop in a drunken stupor. "You're making this
easier for me," she hissed at him.

"Hit me with your best shot," he stuttered.

Tatiana ran at him and attempted to kick the dog in
the face. Instead, Fianna managed to catch her leg and
pulled her to the floor. "I've got better things to do
than fight you off," he replied leaning over her.

She took her fist and hit him square in the jaw.
However, as soon as she felt two fingers break,
Tatiana regretted the move. But the force was enough
to knock Fianna to the ground. He growled, quickly got
back up, and ran at his enemy. The sorceress moved
back just enough so that she could trip the dog with
her leg. He fell to the floor again.

Tatiana stood up and put her booted heel on his neck.
To her surprise, the dog did not fight her off.
Instead, he began crying. "Go ahead…kill me. I don'
care. I don't have anything to live for now that my
precious poodle has left me."

She threw her hands up in the air and took her foot
off of Fianna. "I can't kill you like that! It's too
easy!"

Fianna got on his hands and knees and began begging,
"Please, you've got to kill me. I want you too." He
grabbed one of her legs and began slobbering and
crying on it.

Tatiana tried to free her leg but to no avail. His
grasp was too strong for her to fight off. So she
tried to reason him off. "Come on, Fianna. It can't be
that bad. The poodle said she would come back to you
once the house was back in its original state."

"I can't do it," he wailed. "I can't put it back. It's
not possible for me to do such womanly chores."

Suddenly, the drunken dog let go of Tatiana's leg and
looked up at her. "Hey…wait a minute. How did you know
what my better half said?"

She shrugged and grinned wickedly. "I was there
watching the whole thing. Who did you think was
responsible for turning your dog house to a cat
house?"
He growled at her and then sighed loudly. "Oh, it
doesn't matter."

Tatiana put a hand on his shoulder and replied, "I
can't believe it, but I'm actually feeling sorry for
you. If you will stop fighting me, then I will change
your house back to please the poodle."

"You would do that for me?" he inquired with a hint of
unbelief in his doggy voice.

"Sure, Fianna. But no more fighting…deal?" She
extended her hand.

At this point, the green dog was ready to do anything
to get his poodle back. So, reluctantly, he put his
massive, hairy paw in Tatiana's hand and shook it.
"It's a deal."

"Okay, but if I'm going to work, you need to stay
somewhere else until I'm through. You'll just be in my
way."

Fianna nodded his head and staggered out of his house
and headed toward Tygra's home. The tiger would surely
take him in.
**********
LD eyed the coffin warily. But determined to get out
of the creepy house, he took the crowbar and began to
ease the top of the sarcophagus off. As soon as a
small opening appeared, a wrapped hand raised out. It
pushed the lid onto the floor.

"RD? Is that you?" LD asked. "Is this some kind of
joke?"

A mummified body elevated itself out of the golden
coffin. The head turned toward LD, and its mouth
opened wide. "Whose RD? I am Ammatet, King of the
Cretians. Now you must die!"

Even with his insane condition, LD had enough sense to
scream in horror and run out of the room. Ammatet
opened his mouth wider and sucked LD into his own
mummified form.

The two merged long enough for Ammatet to regain his
physical attributes and release himself from his
bandages. Then, with a shout, Ammatet spit LD out.
"Ugh! Disgusting…I would get a crazy mortal to set me
free. That's just my luck."

LD, covered in a green gelatin substance, stood up and
clapped his hands. "That was fun! Can we do it again?"

Tatiana appeared into the room just then. "My dear,
Ammatet! You're awake!"

"Tatiana?" he whispered.

She nodded and ran to him. They hugged each other for
a long time. Finally, the male immortal released her
and touched her face tenderly. "I can't believe I'm
seeing you again."

"Uh, I think I'll go," LD announced.

The two powerful beings ignored the insane character
as he backed out of the room and ran down the stairs.

"I need your help, Ammatet. I've got a little problem.
I need your power."

"Anything you ask, my dear."
**********
Tatiana pulled Fianna by the collar. "Come on, hurry
up. I want to see your expression when you see your
house."

"Umph, if you would stop pulling me so hard, I could
walk faster," he panted. He then looked down at the
clothes he was made to wear. "I don't get how the way
I look will impress her," Fianna whined. He pulled on
the green-striped shirt and walked awkardly in his
brown pants.

As the house came into view, Fianna slowed down. The
walls were a bright yellow. The shutters and front
door were a matching blue color. The roof was red.
Everything was outlined with a thick, black line.
"I thought you were going to put my house back the way
it was!"

"That's not what I said," Tatiana smiled. "I said that
the poodle would be pleased by the change."

Fianna shook his head and grumbled, "I may not
understand her well, but I KNOW she won't like this."

"Will you just trust me?"

Tatiana put her hands to her mouth and shouted, "Mrs.
Fianna? Your husband is here. Mrs. Fianna?"

Out of the doggie door, a blue puppy emerged. She saw
Fianna and barked softly.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY POODLE?" Fianna roared.

"Don't worry, Fianna. The spell will wear off in a
couple of weeks."

With that said, Tatiana disappeared leaving the two
dogs to themselves.

MWHAHAHAHAHA!!

Your turn you green nincompoop!
Tatiana