2pm

Dr.Zhie had raced through the next few patients, and made
sure that the office was completely cleared. She knew Luna was still
at the front desk, so she didn't need to worry if someone came in,
since the intercom was on and Luna would alert her if anyone entered
the office.
The doctor placed her feet upon her desk and leaned back,
finishing up her chart notes. She left Mr. T's and Mr. S's charts
off to the side, still not sure what she was going to write in
those. For a moment, she thought she heard some sort of a tapping
noise, but passed it off as nothing. Just a few moments later,
though, the same noise was quite obviously coming from her window.
Rising from her chair, she hurried to the window and opened it to
find someone half hanging out of it. "Can I, uh, help you?"
"Not sure." Replied the man, swinging himself up into the
office. "I was cleaning out my pockets the other day while I was
doing the wash, and I found this." He held up a wrinkled business
card, which had the official imprint of the Snarfria Clinic on it,
and underneath, the doctor's name and office number. "I can't quite
remember where I picked this up, but then I've been in so many
fanfics, it's a little tough keeping things straight nowadays."
"I see." Zhie closed the window, then took the card and
examined it. "Most definitely from my office. But I don't ever
remember you as a patient."
"Well, see, I'm thinking you might have given that to me. I
think you were being chased. By Han Solo, I think…" he trailed off,
then stared off into space, with his ears perked up as if he was
listening intently.
"I'm sorry, but I don't ever remember being chased by-" her
comments were cut short by the visitor.
"Well, excuse me, Chris! I can't be expected to keep
everything straight. Harrison, Han, whatever. Either way, that's
not the point." The Hani looked over at the doctor, and simply
replied, "He's my creator, Chris is."
"Oh. So you're a bot then? Don't you just hate those
communication transmitters they use to talk to you? It's so
uncomfortable to have someone else in your mind." Dr.Zhie
sympathized.
"Ah, no, I'm not a bot. I'm merely a figment of Chris's
imagination." Replied the visiter.
"I know how you feel, but you just can't think of yourself
that way. Bots have feelings too, and just because we aren't flesh
and blood, it doesn't mean we're any less than they are."
He looked around, a bit confused, but decided not to press
the issue any further. "Name's Chanur, I just thought I'd stop by,
try to figure out why I had this card."
"Well, obviously, it must have been because of your
predicament of being a bot, you came to seek help and advice about
your situation." Zhie said, looking concerned. "Is your creator
aware of any of these concerns you might be having?"
Chanur impatiently shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean
to…discourage your diagnosis…but I'm not a bot. I'm sure of that."
"Denial is usually the first stage after finding out. Even I
went through a short period of it." Admitted the doctor.
Before the Hani could protest again, the intercom buzzer
sounded again. Zhie excused herself from the conversation for a
moment and pressed the panel. "Yes?"
"That couple from earlier is here to see you. Shall I send
them in?" asked Luna.
Zhie rolled her eyes. "Tell them I'm not going to have their
child, and that's the bottom line. There's no way they're going to
be able to procreate as far as I can tell. Besides, that envelope
with the naked Grune pictures was a dirty trick, and I plan to get
even with them for that."
On the other end of the intercom, the doctor could make out a
masculine gasp and a feminine growl. "Well, I never!" snarled a
voice. There was a bark in agreement to the surprised words. "Come,
princess, we'll just have to find ourselves a real doctor. Damned
HMO." And with that, Fianna and the missus left the office.
"Oh, fuck." Zhie responded, slamming a fist on her desk, then
cupped her hand over her mouth as she realized that the intercom was
still on. She quickly turned it off and looked over to where the
room's other occupant had been, but he had since slipped out
unnoticed, and back through the window. "Great…three patients lost
in under a minute. Must be a record."
A knock on the door brought her back to reality. The doctor
walked to it, sighed, and opened it. Luna was standing on the other
side, holding a mug of French vanilla cappuccino up to her.
"Thanks." The cheetah said, taking the cup.
Luna grumbled and half shrugged, making her way back to her
own desk when she saw that another prospective client had
entered. "Whaddaya want?" she screeched as she hoisted herself upon
her chair.
The white tiger hesitantly cleared his throat. "I'm having a
bit of a problem. Not exactly an identity crisis myself, but there
seem to be a number of people who are under the assumption that I'm,
um.." he leaned closer and spoke softly. "They think I'm gay. But
I'm not." He added quickly.
"Take a seat, the doctor'll see you when she can fit you into
her schedule." Luna said, shooing him from the desk.
Bengali turned and looked around the room, which, for the
first time that evening, was empty. He slowly walked to the couch,
sat down, and picked up a magazine to hide behind.
Soon, the door to the office opened again, a pair consisting
of a lion and a shark entering and flopping down on the couch, one on
either side of the Bengal tiger, both grinning from ear to ear.

4:30 p.m.
"No, it's okay. I assure you, you're not going to go blind."
Zhie said, somewhat exasperated.
"And what about my hand? It's not going to fall off?" Spark
questioned from across the desk.
Zhie shook her head. "For the last time, no. And no one
will ever find out. I won't tell a single sole. Just make sure
you're not going about it out in the open."
"So, in a dark alley?" suggested Spark.
"No, I'd go with an abandoned warehouse for the right amount
of seclusion." Zhie wrote a note onto a scrap of paper and handed it
to Spark. "That's usually where I go. Lots of space, has the right
atmosphere to the place."
Spark grinned as she accepted the paper. "This is great. I
really appreciate you letting me use this." She said, grabbing the
case that contained Zhie's custom designed flame thrower. "I promise
I'll bring it back before the weekend, I just wanted to get some
practice in if I ever need to use it."
"Sure, don't mention it. Enjoy." Zhie waved as Spark headed
down the hallway out of the office, then walked to the intercom and
pressed it again. Luna's shrill voice answered.
"Yeah?"
"Do we have anyone else left in the office that I need to see
before the end of the day?" Zhie asked.
"Just this tiger that has been waiting the past few hours.
You want me to send him in before I leave for the night?"
"Yes, thanks, Luna."

In the waiting room, Bengali had been listening for the last
two hours of the not-so-intricate plan that Thunderwolf and Shark had
been concocting. He was now holding a brown paper sack, consisting
of a vial, a syringe, a bottle of dry Bacardi rum, and a Barry
White's Greatest Hits tape. He was still looking a little skeptical.
"So, what you're saying is, you'll give me a thousand
thunderbucks to get the doctor drunk, inject her with your
genetically enhanced and combined sperm, and make her think she just
spent the night with me at the lair after her hangover wears off?"
"Shhhh!" hushed Shark. "Not so loud. She might have the
room bugged."
"Will you do it?" Thunderwolf asked. For emphasis, he pulled
out a wad of bills and passed them nonchalantly in Bengali's general
direction.
"Well…I have been trying to save up for that gold plated
hammer I saw at Thundermart the other day…" Bengali pocketed the
money and folded over the top of the paper bag just as Luna
instructed him to enter the consultation room.
"Good Luck!" Shark grinned, waving after him.
"Go get `er, tiger!" Thunderwolf agreed, giving him a thumbs
up before the two scurried out of the office.

Bengali hung back for a moment before entering, then
proceeded and hurriedly took the chair nearest to the door, stashing
the bag beneath it. Dr. Zhie looked up, not having noticed the
bag. "Ah, Bengali, haven't ever had you down here. That's a fairly
good track record, considering the rest of your coworkers are
regulars. What can I do for you?"
Bengali cleared his throat and began. "I've been having a
bit of trouble lately. Actually, it's been going on for quite some
time. You know about my brother's preferences, no doubt." Zhie
nodded her head, and Bengali continued. "Well, it seems many have
assumed that since we share the same striped coat, we share the same
bed, if you get my drift. The point is, I'm not gay, but so many
writers just keep assuming that if one tiger is, we must all be.
It's quite disconcerting, and it's ruining my reputation."
Dr. Zhie noticed Bengali to be a bit on edge, so she got up
and retrieved a glass of water for him. He gladly took it and gulped
it down.
"You wouldn't believe the percentage of times I appear as my
brother's lover. It's just so wrong on so many levels." Bengali set
the glass down, and Zhie refilled it, this time from the cooler
behind her desk. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid about it, but it
seems people have me labeled because of his lifestyle."
"That could be part of the problem. It's also likely that
you worry about it because you feel that you have to `follow in his
footsteps', as he is the older sibling. Did your parents ever
persuade you to be like your brother? Did it seem that they, and I
hate to be blunt on this, but did you feel as if they `loved him
more' or something like that."
"Absolutely!" confirmed Bengali. "Nothing I ever did was as
good as what he did. When he became an architect AND a scientist,
they wanted to know why I was just a blacksmith. Why he became a
Thundercat and not me, back on Thundera. They always complained that
I wasn't trying hard enough, that I was lazy, and I should do what
Tygra did, and why didn't I take lessons from what he did and apply
them to my own life. Well, I'll tell you why." Bengali finished the
second glass, and was already on a third. "Because he only got into
the college he did by showing the dean of students a good time. And
half his professors – the only reason he could never get A's from the
female ones is he wouldn't get in bed with them." Bengali's speech
began to slur as he started in on the fourth drink.
"Well, it seems you just need to find a way to, uh, assert
your masculinity." Suggested Zhie.
Bengali nodded, then took another sip from his glass. He set
it down as a silly grin settled across his face. "Sooooo…" he
drawled, "Can you help me out with this…medical procedure you've
suggested." For emphasis, he tried to wink at her, but nearly spilled
his drink across the desk in the process.
Dr. Zhie abruptly stood and headed for the door. "You just
wait right here, and I'll be right back. Just stay right in that
seat." She instructed. Bengali nodded until he slumped his head to
his chest.

Zhie headed out of the room, closing the door tightly behind
her. Then, she headed over to Luna, who had already put her coat on
and was heading to the door. "I need you to do one quick thing
before you head home."
Luna huffed impatiently. "I'm off the clock."
"It involves getting back at a Thun-der-cat." Zhie told her
in a sing-songy voice as she pulled a few things from the drug closet.
Luna's coat was tossed in a corner and she was back at her
desk. "This had better be good, doctor."
Zhie grinned. "I need you to call up Captain Bragg."

The Next Morning----

[Recap--
Bengali stumbled out of bed…and into a dresser. He would
most likely have been able to connect feet with floor, had he been
stumbling out of his own bed. As it was, he had yet to discover
whose bed this was, though to do that, he would first need to
discover where the light switch was.
Feeling his way around the room, he made it to the doorway,
where the knob stuck out of the wall just slightly. Flipping it
upward, he squinted, then slowly forced them open. His heart sank as
he began to make out the form lying in the bed.]

Turning over in the tiger's bed was the biggest, hairiest
mutant he'd ever laid eyes upon. By her stench and general
appearance, he knew it wouldn't be easy to smuggle her out of the
lair unseen. Scanning the room for evidence of what had happened,
his eyes fell upon a note taped to the mirror. He hastily ran to it
and read:

Dear Bengali-

I hope the treatment succeeded. As you probably discovered
last night, the Marvelous Myrna is ALL woman, and should curb any
fears you or others have about your sexual preferences. Be sure you
wake up Myrna before it gets too late, Captain Bragg needs her back
at the circus train by noon.

As for the contents of the sack you were carrying with you,
you can tell your accomplices that Myrna gladly offered her services
in the task they wished to have accomplished, and that she enjoyed
the Barry White tape very much. As for the booze, we'll consider
your account clear of any charges from this visit. Have a great day.

-Dr. Zhie