Smithers headed into the clinic later than usual. He
normally would have been in before any of the patients, but this
morning he'd run into four clients who wanted to make an appointment
with the doctor, and he wasn't even in the building yet. Although
working out of the free clinic provided the ability to pay a very low
rent on the office space, the clinic just wasn't adequate for the
client base. Nor was the staff adequate any longer. He cringed as
he pushed the door to the offices open, entering the nearly packed
waiting room. Luna was screeching instructions to a new patient who
was attempting to register while the patient's young cub ran around
him in circles. Smithers stepped carefully through the room,
managing to squeeze through the slightly open door and into the back
area.
Lion-o snickered as he watched Smithers battle his way to the
other side, shutting the door behind him. Zhie's assistant rolled
his eyes at the Lion-o. "What is it today?"
"Smithers slithered through the door." Lion-o answered,
mimicking Smithers' bizarre squiggling he'd done to get into the back
area.
"Simpleton." Smithers sighed walking toward the doctor's
office.
"Hey!" Lion-o stomped after him. "You can't call me that,
I'm the Thundercat Lord!"
Smithers ignored him, knocking briefly on the door before
pushing it open.
Dr. Zhie was seated at the desk, her head cocked to one side,
rested thoughtfully on her paw. Her expression was part disbelief,
part bemusement. Smithers didn't see who else was in the room until
he entered it, and wasn't too surprised that there was a lion with a
thick, dark mane sitting in the chair across from the doctor, and
next to him, a slick, grey shark.
Thunderwolf was swinging a pocket watch back and forth,
leaning forward slightly. "You are getting very, very sleepy." He
stated in a low, monotonous voice.
"No, I'm not." Zhie stated.
Thunderwolf cleared his throat. "Watch the watch. Watch it
carefully. You are getting very, very tired. You are drifting off
to sleep."
Zhie followed the movement for a few more moments, then
reaffirmed that she wasn't tired with a shake of her head.
"Dammit, woman, fall asleep already!" growled the lion. "I
don't have all friggin' day!" he roared, slamming the watch onto the
desk. The sudden noise jerked Shark from his slumber in the chair
next to him. Zhie smirked as Shark sat up sheepishly, and Smithers
entered the room.
"Sorry to interrupt your consultation, doctor," began
Smithers, "but we need to have a discussion about the way things are
being run around here."
"Not again. Not now." Complained Zhie.
"Fine, if you want to finish up with your consult, doctor, go
ahead. But then we need to discuss the future of this practice."
Smithers turned to leave.
Shark grinned. "Yes. We still have twenty-eight minutes
left to go."
Zhie stood up abruptly. "I think we're going to have to call
it a day, gentlemen, as you may have heard, I have an important
meeting with my assistant. Nurse Lion-o will show you to the door."
"Ugh. I hate being called a nurse." Lion-o sulked, holding
the door open for the lion and the shark.
"Think of how poor Snarf must have felt." Dr. Zhie reminded
him, shoving everyone out before shutting and locking the
door. "Alright, I know I've put off your evaluation for quite some
time, but it isn't because I don't want to give you a raise, it's
because I'm just not prepared to give you an accurate evaluation of
your work, Waylon. You know how valuable you are to this clinic and--
"
"It's not the evaluation, doctor." Smithers assured her.
"It's not?" The doctor took her seat. "Then what?"
Smithers handed her a portfolio containing numerous charts,
graphs, and statistics. "As you can see, our patient load has gone
up considerably, while our staff has actually decreased now that
Snarfer isn't working here part time."
"So, just hire another PT and we'll be set. Right?"
"Sadly, no. Part of the problem is that Lion-o just doesn't
know what to do around here. And Luna gets complaints from patients
all the time. And guess who gets to listen to all of the unhappy
clients?"
"Waylon, I know you pull more than your share of the weight
around here, but Lion-o is just putting in his community service
time, and Luna, well…I keep Luna around so that even if my bedside
manner sucks, my worst days still seem like rainbows and gumdrops
compared to her best. She's only working a few years so that she can
get social security benefits, and then she's history. Besides, I can
pay her practically nothing because no one else'll hire her." Zhie
pulled a report from her files and handed it to him. "See? With the
little that's spent on personnel, we have money enough for supplies
and malpractice and just barely what I need to keep this place going,
not to mention put food on the table and all that jazz."
"You don't have to try to scrape by this way, though."
Smithers handed her yet another sheet. "I've been doing the math,
and I think it's time to move out and set up a private practice.
Because you have to take everyone who walks through the door,
regardless of health care provider, you have to go with status quo
rates. But privatizing will allow you to charge whatever you want,
and you've got the market cornered on this part of the province."
"I couldn't do that." Zhie said, shaking her head. "I
always promised myself I'd never do that to any of my patients.
Doctors are meant to help people, not milk their pocketbooks.
Besides, that's what my father's for."
"Speaking of which, does your father plan to keep trying to
make you do that…thing…"
Zhie rolled her eyes. "Yeah. He and my step dad were at it
again this morning, as you could clearly see. You know, it's just
plain wrong to have a step father who's younger than you are, let
alone one who's married to your father."
"You make it sound so much more bizarre than it really is."
Smithers said.
"It's only bizarre that they want me to have their child."
Zhie paused. "Well, maybe the rest is a little bizarre, too…anyhow…
getting back on subject, I just don't want to privatize."
"Then we really have only one option left. You're going to
have to fire Lion-o." Smithers told her matter-of-factly.
"Fire Lion-o? How could I do that? He works for nothing, it
doesn't get much cheaper than that! I've yet to meet a nurse who'll
pay me to work here." Zhie answered back.
Smithers handed Zhie another stack of forms, then crossed his
arms. "Those are applications for the position. Even though you're
not paying a salary for Lion-o, you still have to pay the malpractice
insurance, which has nearly doubled since he's been here. And we
were almost investigated twice for things he did that he shouldn't
have."
"Investigated? Why didn't I know about that?" the cheetah
asked.
"Luckily for us, I know someone in a position of power who is
very influential with the board of inquiry." Smithers said
carefully. "I took care of things both times." He added with a
slight smile.
Zhie ignored the comment, and began to flip through the
pile. "I can't fire Lion-o. He's practically family."
"Second cousin once removed related by adoption hardly
qualifies." Smithers reasoned. "Besides, I'm head of your personnel
department." Smithers walked to the door, swinging it open. "Lion-
o!" he shouted down the hall.
"Yeah?" The lord came stumbling down the hall from one of the
exam rooms. "What now?" he asked, attempting to pull his pants back
up.
"You're fired." Smithers grinned. "And don't let the door –"
"I know, I know…I hear it often enough…" Lion-o sighed,
strolling to the exit. "I was going to quit anyway."
Smithers smiled happily as he watched Lion-o leave the exam
area. A few moments later, he watched a very pissed dictator limp
out of the exam room Lion-o had been in.
"You couldn't have waited five freaking minutes?" RD snapped,
gingerly making his way down the hallway after the lion.
Smithers came back into the office, where Zhie was skimming
the applications. "I can't believe you got this may people
interested just from your walk here this morning."
"And the waiting room." Smithers told her. "But right now,
you've got patients waiting. After your appointment, we can call all
the applicants, set up time for you to interview them. I've cleared
a chunk of your schedule for the next few days so you can find
someone quickly."
"Excellent." Zhie said, narrowing her eyes and strumming her
fingers together. She stopped abruptly, glancing at
Smithers. "Sorry, I forgot how that freaks you out."
Smithers said nothing. Instead, he walked out of the office,
and ushered the first patient into the back. The client gave
Smithers a harsh look as he limped his way past, cursing until he
reached the office door.
To Be Continued…